Here is John Powell on our relationship with God. I was totally smacked down with this.
Each of us has a unique and very limited concept of God, and it is very often marked and distorted by human experience. Negative emotions, like fear, tend to wear out. The distorted image of a vengeful God will eventually nauseate and be rejected. Fear is a fragile bond of union, a brittle basis of religion.
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Those who do not reject a distorted image of God will limp along in the shadow of a frown. They certainly will not love with their whole heart, soul, and mind. A fearsome, vengeful God is not lovable. There will never be any trust and repose in the loving arms of a kindly Father; there will never be any mystique of belonging to God. People who serve out of fear, without the realization of love, will try to bargain with God. They will do little things for God, make little offerings, say little prayers, and so on, to embezzle a place in heaven. Life and religion will be a chess game, hardly an affair of love.
(Why Am I Afraid to Love?: Overcoming Rejection and Indifference*
, John Powell, Tabor Publishing, Allen, TX, 1982, pp 5, 8)
I guess it’s time to quit playing chess with God.
*Yes, that is an affiliate link. Here’s another one: