For a better life and a better eternity
“How on earth can a Christian commit that sin?” Have you ever heard someone ask this question? On the surface, it seems like a good one, doesn’t it? We’ve all heard of Christians, even preachers or pastors, who commit what seem like heinous sins. We are certain they should know better. But they’ve fallen. How on earth can they commit that sin?
But this is the wrong question. Read on to find out why.
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Goals! Everyone talks about them. We all need them. But I’m convinced a mere goal is never enough. We need to move beyond simply setting a goal to having a vision of what life will be like once we have attained that goal. If all we have is a goal, then it seems like the end result is just achieving a goal for achieving a goal’s sake, we won’t stick with it. At least, I never do. So, whether we are talking about our physical, mental, financial, or even spiritual lives, we need to move beyond goals and envision what life will be like having achieved that goal.
Okay, so as usual I’m about three months behind on the pop-culture scene. My brother always gives me a hard time about this. However, just the other day I learned that Weird Al has a new song being released. It’s called “Perform This Way.” I heard a snippet and wanted to find out more about the original it is based on. After all, those songs are always funnier when you actually know who he’s lampooning. So I asked my daughter about Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” Then she sang some of the lyrics to me and I said, “Wait! What?” “Oh, Dad, it’s not about that.” “Really, what’s it about then?” “It’s just about her tough childhood and her mom telling her she’s born to be a superstar.” “Oh, okay,” I said, somewhat relieved. Then, last night on the way home from Bible class the song came on the radio. I was stunned to say the least. Tessa said I was missing the point. So we looked up the lyrics when we got home. The disappointment simply continued.
I received a heart-rending letter this week from a brother who is suffering the earthly consequences of his heinous sins. He had heard a sermon I preached entitled “We are Allowed to Love Ourselves.” You may remember the series on this very topic that I wrote on this blog. The brother wanted to know how he could ever forgive himself. Having committed some heinous sins myself, I want to know the same thing. What does it mean to forgive ourselves? Should we forgive ourselves? How can we?
Sorry I missed last week. We had a lot going on, mostly stressful.
We were out of town over the last weekend. We came home to a house with a busted water heater that had to be repaired. On Wednesday, Marita’s Maw-maw died. On Friday, we held her funeral. On Sunday, I announced to people that I love dearly that we believe it is time for us to move to a new congregation. On June 20 of this year, I’ll start working with the Brownsburg Church of Christ in Brownsburg, Indiana. I’ll say again here as I have in so many places, I have many mixed emotions. I have a great deal of sadness about being separated from so many good friends who I love so much. I also have a great deal of excitement about new possibilities with a new group of people.
What does all of this mean?
First, it means the next three months are going to be a very stress filled time for my family and me. I’ll try to keep up the blog regularly, but this may mean I miss some days as I devote time to getting my house ready. Be patient with me.
Second, it means change. I fear change. I like status quo. With status quo, there is no second-guessing. Except, there is. There is always the second guess that change might have been good. How do we cope with change, whether it was a personal decision to change or a change thrust upon us by others or by circumstances?
Perhaps this won’t shock anyone, but I am learning to rely on the message of Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Too many of us sit in paralyzed fear wondering if the proposed change is God’s secret will for our lives. What I am learning is my job today is to love God. That means, whatever choice I make needs to be in accord with God revealed Word. That’s simply because I need to serve God. When I live by the principle to simply to do the next right thing because I love God, He’ll work together whatever I do and whatever anyone else does and whatever happens in the world to help me be glorified. I may not see how what is happening today will allow for that. I may be terribly sad, awfully angry, even cruelly hurt today. However, sometime down the road, I’ll be able to see that all of this worked together for good. Maybe I won’t even be able to see it until I stand in eternity. However, I will be able to look back and see it.
We often say, “Hindsight is 20/20.” Romans 8:28 is asking us to live with that hindsight right now. It is asking us not to wait until years down the road to realize whatever is going on today will actually work out for my good in the end. It is asking me to trust God and learn that whatever change is taking place today will be used by God to lead to my glorification in Jesus Christ.
That’s how I am learning to cope with change. I’m sure I’ll need you to remind me of that sometimes. I don’t always keep that in my head properly. Today, I’m remembering it.
Have a great week and remember that God’s way works.
One of the big problems I’ve had in the church setting is letting people grow. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I love to see people grow. I love to see them get stronger. I love to see them develop more faith. I love to see them learn new things. My problem is letting them be where they are before they do all that growing.
2 Peter 1:5-8 says we must all increase and add faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, and love. Here is what that necessarily means. Right now we lack some faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, and love. If others are to grow in these areas, that means right now they lack in some of them too. That doesn’t make them bad. That doesn’t make them rebellious. That doesn’t make them someone who needs to be disciplined. We’re all on a spectrum. Some are farther along than me. Some are not as far along as me. I don’t want those farther along than me trying to control me and force me to be where they are. I want them to understand that I’m growing, be patient with me, and simply encourage me. Shouldn’t I do the same with others?
My problem is when I see someone who I think is less mature in some aspect of knowledge, virtue, or faith, I want to rush in grab control of their life and force them to be on the same page as me. Sadly, what happens most of the time is I polarize them away from where I am. I often push them into rebellion as they want to assert their right to be where they are right now. So, not only do I not help them grow, I actually stop their growing.
Why do I do this? Because I equate disagreeing with me or doing something different from me to mean that the other person doesn’t really want to serve God and I need to force them to do so. That just doesn’t work. However, when I’m able to recognize that we are all growing, that other people who are at different places than I am love God and they are growing, I’m often amazed at how much they do actually grow. I’m also amazed at how often we end up on the same page eventually.
Here is the hard part. This means I have to give others permission to disagree with me. I have to give others permission to make different choices from me. This means I have to give others permission to think and feel differently than I do about some things. This means I have to give others permission to be wrong sometimes. Or at least I think they’re wrong. Sometimes I was the one that needed to grow and came to believe I had been wrong.
The other reason this is hard is because I’m so afraid others might make me look bad. If folks found out someone who believed “that” or did “this” was in my congregation, they might think I’m somehow bad. It’s like when my children do something wrong. I take their wrong on to myself as if I was the one who did it. I’m not. I’m simply the guy who helps them grow and teaches them when they do wrong. Jesus was able to look at folks in Thyatira and Smyrna (Revelation 2:18-3:6) and not hold against them the sins of others. That’s what I need to hang on to.
I certainly do not believe a congregation can simply allow someone to live in divisive rebellion against God’s will. After all, God did tell the church in Thyatira to quit tolerating Jezebel. However, I also think I am too quick to label some as rebellious simply because they don’t think about every little detail the way I do. It is amazing how I can catastrophize even the smallest of disagreements. It reminds me of the time my dad found I had taken some caffeine pills and in fear had plotted out my life of alcohol, drugs, and crime that was the sure conclusion of having done that. Fortunately, those caffeine pills haven’t led me down that path. Not yet anyway. I remember being so mad at him. I remember wanting to take some more of those pills just to prove him wrong. I remember thinking I would never treat my kids like that. And yet, I do it to brethren all the time (I probably do it to my kids too). I can easily take the smallest disagreement and be sure it means someone doesn’t care about God, won’t obey Him, and is on a path for hell that will lead numerous others with her. Then again, she may simply be on a path of growth and this is where she needs to work. I need to let her develop on God’s time table, not mine. I need to share with her my experience, strength, and hope, encouraging her in what I believe is right. What I can’t do is control and manipulate her to be where I am right now. That’s not my job. Not to mention, it is impossible.
The long and short of it in our churches is there is a time to let people grow. That means there is a time to let them be wrong. That means there is a time to let them be weak. That means there is a time to let them make mistakes. I want others to do that for me.
Keep the faith and remember God’s way works.
ELC