When a child spills some milk what do you do? Do you yell and scream at him as if he is a worthless, flawed, failure? I hope not. That little child is imperfect and makes mistakes. To treat him like he has no value or is less-than when he makes a mistake is not good. Instead, show him how to clean up his mess. Talk him through how and why the mess was made so he might avoid the same mistake in the future.
What about when a child says a cuss word? Do you yell and scream at her as if she is a worthless, flawed, failure who is making you look like a bad parent? I hope not. That child is imperfect and makes mistakes. To treat her like she has no value or is less-than when she makes a mistake is not good. Instead, you talk to her about language. You help her establish boundaries for the kinds of words she uses and strive to pass on your values regarding the words we speak.
That makes sense to us regarding our kids. But what about our brethren? What about members of our congregation? What do we do when we know one of our brethren lied, lusted, cheated, stole, etc.? Do we yell and scream at them as if they are worthless, flawed, failures who are making your church look bad? Do we shame them, making them jump through hoops to feel forgiven? Do we treat them as if they are less-than? Do we look down on them as if they aren’t quite as spiritual as us? I hope not. That brother or sister is imperfect. They make mistakes. They will sin. To treat them like they are less-than, to shame them, to bitterly and harshly treat them is just not good. How dare we who are just as imperfect and just as sinful treat our brethren as if we are better than they are when we talk to them about their sins.
Perhaps this is why Paul told us to restore those caught in any trespass with gentleness (Galatians 6:1).
Certainly, if someone is living in utter rebellion, harsh rebuke may become necessary. However, to treat other growing Christians as if they are bad Christians just because they aren’t perfect (just like we aren’t perfect) is wrong. Do you know what Jesus did for that brother or sister when He learned about their sins? He died for them.
Think about that the next time you need to talk to a brother or sister about sin in their life. That may help you talk to them God’s way.
Remember, God’s Way Works!
Can you explain how Galatians 2:11-14 fits into this. I've often thought about this and wondered how to reconcile both of these passages. In verse 11 Paul "withstood him to his face" and in verse 14 apparently he did this in front of everybody. It almost seems like Galatians 6:1 is our trump card in the same way that Matthew 7:1 is to so many people. That the overriding principle of both of these passages goes before anything else. I fear that too many times we don't say anything to our brethren about their sins until perhaps it is too late. What are your thoughts on this?
That's a good question, Michelle. Thanks for making sure we take into account all of scripture.
My point is not that we don't talk to people about their sins. In fact, my whole point is that we do talk to them, but we talk to them with the right attitude. Remember in my post I didn't say, "Remember this the next time someone sins and don't talk to them." I said, "Think about that the next time you need to talk to a brother or sister about sin in their life. That may help you talk to them God's way."
Let me go back to my child illustration. Some folks, saying, "Oh, their just kids," won't talk to their kids at all about the spilled milk or the sinful language. Some will just gloss over it saying their just kids, too immature to understand and they never pass on good boundaries or helpful advice. Others, usually out of embarrassment and fear of what folks will think of them as parents, beat and berate their kids. Neither approach helps the child grow.
Let's look at God's children. When we see someone sinning, we can make either of those same mistakes. We can say, "Oh well, nobody's perfect," and just ignore it. Or we might berate and ridicule and condescend, ignoring our own imperfections and forgetting gentleness. Neither of these helps the person grow.
Rather, we need to walk the middle path of talking to folks about their sins but doing so with gentleness, remembering that we fall also. Instead of acting like we are the great guru passing on our infinite wisdom to the weak and second-class learner, we should speak to them as fellow travelers who help each other on the path.
Specifically regarding Galatians 2:11-14, what is happening here? Let's make sure we don't read into it our own potential emotions and tone of voice. We can easily read into what Paul says a harsh, mean tone of voice. But then again, maybe it wasn't. After all, it is in this very same book he speaks of confronting folks with gentleness.
He opposed or withstood Peter. It simply means he resisted him. That is, he didn't go along with Peter's sinful behavior. At the same time, he did talk to Peter in front of everyone. Why? Not via some public embarrassment and shame but because Peter was leading these others to commit the same sin. He addressed the "ringleader," if you will, in front of the followers because they all needed to hear this same statement.
Also notice his words, "He doesn't say, 'When are you ever going to get it, Peter? Look at what an unspiritual Christian you really are. You don't see me doing this, do you? You better shape up and fly right or you're going to hell and you'll take everyone with you." Instead, he asks a question: "If you, though a Jew, live like a Gentile and not like a Jew, how can you force the Gentiles to live like Jews?" Notice in this, he didn't simply demand that Peter live by his standard either. Rather, he asked a question to get Peter to see his own inconsistency and help Peter think through his sinful actions and correct them based on his own thinking through the issues.
Further, it doesn't seem that Paul holds this against Peter for the rest of his life acting as if Peter was a second class Christian because he made a mistake sometime in the past. Paul knew himself to be the chief of sinners. He recognized that he had no right to sit in the place of the perfect doling out God's judgments on people. Rather, he was a fellow imperfect traveler who still had the responsibility to help his brethren. That's what he did. And it appears to me that he did it with gentleness.
Sorry, my response is longer than the post. However, it was a great question. Thanks for asking.
Wonderful thoughts, Edwin. Both as a reminder of how God regards us and an admonition of how to care for and disciple our children.
Keep up the great work!