God's Way Works

For a better life and a better eternity

Edwin Crozier

Spend Time With Your Kids While There’s Still Time

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The lead singer of one of my favorite bands of the 90s and 00s has gone…I hate to say it…country. Darius Rucker, lead singer for Hootie and the Blowfish, recently released a country album, “Learn to Live.” Some friends let me borrow the cd. Surprisingly, I like it. I guess I’m going soft in my music as I get older. Or maybe it’s just because despite the country sounding instrumentation, the voice is still Darius Rucker.

As much as I liked it, I couldn’t help but laugh as I listened to the first song, “Forever Road,” in which the singer promised to be committed to the woman to whom he was singing no matter what. They would work out every problem because they were walking on “Forever Road.” Then I listened to the second song, “All I Want.” In this one, the singer tells the woman he says he loves that the relationship just won’t work and it isn’t worth it to work on the problems so she can take the house, the car and even all the money he makes off this song, “All I want you to leave me is alone.” I kept laughing when the third song, “Don’t Think I Don’t Think About It,” was all about the regret of leaving a woman and finding out that she had married someone else. He wondered where they might be today if he had just turned around instead of being so filled with pride.

Another interesting contrast was between songs 9 and 10—“Drinkin’ and Dialin’” and “I Hope They Get To Me In Time.” Song 9 is about a drinker who wants everyone to forgive him if he calls them while he’s drunk. The first verse talks about him waking up with an old girlfriend trying to put together all the dots of what happened the night before. Song 10, however, is about a man who has been in a wreck because of a drunk driver. His life is flashing before his eyes as he hears the sirens and hopes they get to him in time.

Song 11, “While I Still Got the Time,” is the song of a middle-aged man wanting to turn over a new leaf while he still has the time. Finally, by song 12, he’s back to having the perfect woman. In fact, she’s so perfect he warns every other man who doesn’t want to settle down, they need to “Be Wary of a Woman” like his.

The real reason I bring this album up on family day, however, is because of song 8, “It Won’t Be Like This for Long.” It tells the story of a young father up all night because his newborn little girl was up all night. His wife tells him it will be alright; “It Won’t Be Like This for Long.” Then his little girl is 4 years old and going to preschool. When he drops her off, she’s caterwauling and won’t let go of him. The teacher peels her off his neck and he says, “What can I do?” She lets him know it’s not a big deal because “It Won’t Be Like This for Long.” In a week or two, he’ll leave and she won’t even know he’s gone. The man realizes in a little while, she’ll be a teenager, he’ll think she hates him some times. Then he’ll take her down the aisle and leave her with someone else.

I made Marita listen to this song so we could cry about it together. One-year-old Trina danced around the room oblivious to our tears. Eleven-year-old Tessa was up in her room reading. Though I hadn’t heard this song until last night, I live with its message every day. It was just yesterday Tessa was dancing around the room, barely able to stay on her feet. Now she’s 11. In another day or two, she’ll be leaving us for her own family. Then right behind her Ethan, Ryan and finally Trina.

Of course, I know there are all kinds of rewards from grown children and hopefully from their children as well. However, it just reminds me that it won’t be like this for long. Tessa will only be 11 for one year. Trina will only be 1 for one year. It would be awful for me to waste that time just writing on this blog, keeping up with Facebook and Twitter or trying to make money.

Another song on the album was “History in the Making.”

The singer was actually talking about his first kiss with some girl. They needed to savor the moment because they were making a memory, it was history in the making. He was singing about a girlfriend. But the principle is the same for my family. Each day is history in the making. We are creating memories. One day, my children will sit around talking about what things were like when they were young. What kind of memories will they share? Will they remember Mom and Dad sitting at their various computers keeping up with old high school buddies or will they remember us playing games, talking, working together.

I’m not saying there is no time for keeping up with blogs or other work. I’m just saying, it won’t be like this for long. As you hand off your kids to someone else or drop them off at their college dorm, you won’t look back and wish you had spent more time on the computer. Trust me on this one.

“Do Hard Things”

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Do Hard Things. That’s what Alex and Brett Harris encourage in their recent book of the same title. This would be impressive enough if it were written to adults by adults. Instead, it is written to teens by teens. The Harris brothers are 19 year-old twins. At age 16, they interned at the Alabama Supreme Court. At seventeen, they served as grass-roots directors for four statewide political campaigns. By 18, they were the co-authors of the web’s most popular Christian teen blog. This year, they have co-authored a book that is destined to be a bestseller, if it hasn’t already reached that status.

If you are a teenager or plan to be someday, if you have children or grandchildren who are teenagers or plan to be someday, if you know a teenager, if you used to be a teenager, this book is for you. One warning to the post-teenagers: if you wasted your teen years, this book will produce a bit of shame and guilt. However, for me, it did it in a positive way that hasn’t made me linger in shame but rather encouraged me to get moving right now.

The Harris brothers challenge today’s teens to rebel against our culture’s low expectations. They take a decidedly Christian approach, but their book is helpful even if you are not a Christian. Their challenge is simple—Do Hard Things. Don’t take the easy path. Don’t take the path of least resistance. Don’t be satisfied with mediocrity from yourself even if everyone else thinks your mediocrity is excellent.

On the down side, I do think they missed the boat on what the Scriptures say regarding salvation. They tout the common evangelical line that salvation is by faith alone, despite the fact that the only place in the Bible the phrase “faith alone” is used is a passage saying justification does not come by faith alone (James 2:24). They totally ignore the role of baptism in becoming God’s child (cf. Mark 16:16; Acts 2:38; I Peter 3:21). Also, while I recognize we can serve God no matter what our profession, I think they confuse this with actual missionary work. I think it is great that teenagers have become involved in the ending of modern day slavery, in providing houses for the needy and food for the homeless. Those works, as good as they are, however, are not fulfilling the great commission. The great commission is to teach the gospel to the lost and baptize them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit (cf. Matthew 28:18-20).

Despite those problems, I think this book is a must read. I have no doubt my congregation will be getting some lessons this year inspired by the challenges I read in Do Hard Things. While much of what they said applies to secular profession or social concerns, the principles highly apply to spiritual lives, as the Harris brothers repeatedly point out. Jesus called His people to avoid the broad, wide, easy road and walk on the narrow, strait and difficult road. Jesus has called us to do hard things.

The cream of the book is the discussion of the “Five Kinds of Hard.” 1) Doing things outside your comfort zone. 2) Doing things that go beyond what is expected or required. 3) Doing things too big to accomplish alone. 4) Doing things that don’t earn immediate payoff. 5) Doing things that go against the grain of the cultural norms. I especially liked #4 because it reminded me some hard things are very small. However, facing up to those small hard challenges repeatedly produces big, long-term results.

My wife picked up this book Saturday afternoon. While she was busy, I read the first chapter and then absconded with it. I finished it on Sunday evening. I guess the first hard thing I need to do is apologize to my wife for stealing. However, I’m really excited to hit 2009 with this great encouragement to Do Hard Things. I encourage you, even if it is hard, get this book. Read it. Read it to your kids. I think you’ll be changed by it. It’s definitely a springboard for your spiritual life.

Don’t Miss the Journey with Your Family

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When I was in elementary school, I read a story in one of my classes that has stuck with me ever since. I wish I could find the story again to give the actual author the proper credit. Instead, I’ll just have to recreate my own version of the story. I included it in my book Built by the Lord: Studies on the Family a couple of years ago in the chapter entitled “Enjoy the Journey.” I think the message is profound. I’ll present it here with out any comment from me.

A Magic Fish

A recently married young farmer, taking a well-earned day of rest, was out fishing. He had caught about all he wanted, but cast his line out just one last time. He felt the tug and brought in his biggest catch of the day. As he was about to toss the fish into his bucket (you’ll never believe this), it began to speak.

“Please, don’t throw me in that pile of fish. I am actually a fairy princess trapped in the body of this fish by an evil sorceress. If you let me live and cast me back into the water, I can give you a wonderful gift. Life can be miserable sometimes, but I can grant you the gift to skip those miserable parts. All you will have to do is wish yourself into the future and immediately you will be taken to a future point of life.”

The farmer thought this was amazing. He decided to chance it and tossed the fish back in the water. When the fish resurfaced, she said, “I have given you a tremendous gift. Use it wisely and remember you can only move forward; you can never move back into the past. Your body will age, but your mind will only grow the amount of time you actually experience.”

Then she sank beneath the surface and was gone. Two days later, the farmer began plowing his fields. He was hot and miserable and he decided to see if the gift really worked. He wished he could skip to the end of the day, going straight to dinner with his wife. No sooner had he made the wish than he was sitting in his house at the dinner table. It was as if his body had kept on doing the work and living his life but his mind and soul had just skipped the day.

After a few more days of work, he decided he had had enough of this and wished he could skip to the end of the harvest. Immediately he found himself at the end of the harvest, ready to sell his crops at the market. “This is not so bad,” he thought. “I wonder why that fish said I had to be so careful.”

A couple of years went by and his wife became pregnant. He was so excited. He couldn’t wait for another seven months to go by to see his first child. He wished to skip ahead to the day after the birth. The next instant he heard a baby crying in the other room and his wife asking for help.

After a couple of sleepless nights, he wished he could skip ahead to when the child was sleeping all night and potty trained. After having a few more kids, the man just could not believe how stressful it was to raise children. He finally decided just to skip the whole thing. He wished himself to a time when all the children were out of the house.

Though his mind was only a few years older than when he first received the gift, his body had aged quite a bit. He was tired, his body ached most of the time and he just didn’t want to work anymore. He wished to skip ahead to when he was old enough to let his kids take care of him.

 Suddenly, there he was with his wife and his grown children. He began to listen to their conversation. They were laughing and sometimes crying. The kids were discussing their childhood memories. The farmer’s wife was chiming in. However, whenever they turned to the farmer, he only smiled. He couldn’t say anything because he did not remember any of it. He had wished it all away. His body was old and could hardly enjoy his present life, but he could not even take joy in happy memories. He had none.

He left the house and walked purposefully to the lake where he had caught the magic fish, crying all the way. Was the fish still alive? Perhaps someone else had caught the fish and not been so generous? It had been many years, how long could a fish, even a magic one, actually live? Even if it was alive, could he find it? If he could find it, would it do anything? After all, it had warned him.

He walked to the bank and waded in a few feet and began to cry out as loud as he could, “Magic fish! It’s me the farmer who set you free so many years ago. I have been very foolish and made a terrible mistake. Please, come help me!” He repeated his plea several times, but nothing happened. Finally, he just plopped down in the water, his face in his hands, sobbing. He had missed his life and there was nothing to be done about it.

A moment later the water broke and the fish appeared.

“Hello, farmer,” the fish said. “I have already given you one great gift, why should I grant you another?”

“O fairy princess, you warned me not to use your gift unwisely. But I have. I have been foolish beyond belief. My mind is young, but my body is old. I have no fond memories of my life because I wished them all away. Please, take me back to the day I caught you and let me live my life.”

“But I told you, you can only go forward, you can never go back. Sending you back to the day you caught me will end the gift I gave you. You will have to endure every trial, every tribulation, every misery and never be able to miss any of it.”

“I don’t care. I want to live my life. I want to enjoy every minute of every day. I want to see how my wife and I grow closer together. I want to see my children learn to walk and run and live. I want to experience every accomplishment. The tough times will be worth it if only to experience the joy of the good times. I have made it to the end of my life and I have accomplished so much, but I cannot enjoy any of it because I skipped it all.”

The fish disappeared beneath the surface of the water and the man cried out, “No, come back.” He sat their consumed in his grief and bowed his head into his hands once again. But then something odd happened. Suddenly, he was no longer sitting in the water. He was dry and sitting in his old boat. His skin was no longer wrinkled and his body no longer ached. He looked up and the fish resurfaced and said, “This was really my gift to you. The ability to skip the miseries of life is really no gift at all. The ability to enjoy the journey is the greatest I can give you. You have set me free, I thank you.” The fish disappeared.

The man eagerly paddled his boat to shore. Tied it to a tree and ran to his house. There he found his young wife. He rushed to her, picked her up and kissed her. She never learned what happened to her husband. But she did learn she had married a man who was able to live with the bad days because he knew how to enjoy the journey.

A 10 Step Plan to Fall Back into Sin

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Giving in to sin may not be as easy as you might think. Therefore, to help you learn how to fall back into that bed of comfortability easily, I have prepared the following 10 step plan to fall back into sin. If you take these steps, I guarantee you that sinning will once again become the norm for you. 

 

 

1. Think you can run your life better than God.

Of course, I know you would never ever actually admit this verbally and out loud. However, if you really want to fall back into sin, this is the mindset you need to have. It will govern the other 9 steps you must take to fall back into sin. The greatest thing is, you don’t actually have to say it out loud. In fact, you can do this while you are still attending church and even looking good in Bible class by answering all the right questions with all the right answers. All you have to do is decide not to do what God says in His word. You can do it for any number of reasons. Maybe what God asks of you is too hard. Maybe you can’t see how it will make you happy. Maybe you are just convinced it is too old-fashioned. No matter the reason, if you just convince yourself what you want to do will produce better long term results for you than what God asks you to do, you are well on your way to falling back into sin.

2. Live in denial.

Who wants to honestly face their defects and flaws? We all know it was wrong of you to yell at your spouse last night, but why be honest about that? Just come up with some reason why in that scenario it wasn’t really all that wrong. It was probably your spouse’s fault anyway. Here is the great thing, you can do this and still keep up the saying of your prayers. Just don’t ever get specific in your confessions. Just ask God to “forgive me my many sins.” No one can prove you have to be specific. Besides being specific would mean you would actually have to look those sins in the face, own them and repudiate them. That is way too much work (remember step #1?). Another way to do this is to constantly look for everyone else’s sins and flaws. Trust me, you’ll find plenty and you can salve your conscience by realizing that at least you aren’t as bad as they are. 

3. Quit assembling with the saints.

Surely religion is just about your personal relationship with God. Who needs a congregational family? Who needs a time to get together with other people to edify and be edified? Who needs to spend time with other people praising and worshiping God? Not you. You already know you can run your life better and you’re a good person and don’t need that repeated reminder. Besides, you’re smarter than most of those people and don’t get that much out of the preaching and classes anyway.

4. Isolate yourself from your godly friends.

Those people only want to judge you anyway. Why would you want to spend any time with them? They have just as many problems as you. They’re no better than you are. If you spend too much time with them, they might get you to thinking about some of those sins you have committed. They might call you on the carpet. Not to mention, it is just uncomfortable being around people who actually want to overcome their sins. They’re always talking about God and their Bible reading. If you hang out with them too much, they may figure out what is going on inside you and you just can’t trust those Christians to still love you when they find out what is going on inside.

5. Refuse to be accountable to anyone.

Only cults expect you to be accountable to someone, letting them know what you are dealing with and accepting their advice for how to overcome. You need to avoid partnering with someone for purposes of accountability at all costs. Granted, it may lead you back to sin, but at least it won’t let anyone else have undue influence in your life. That just gives too much power to another person in your life. Besides, no one has the right to know what struggles you face; that’s just between you and God. You’d think if He wanted you to talk to someone else about those things, He would have told you to confess your sins to other people somewhere in the Bible.

6. Keep all your stuff on the inside.

Nobody else wants to be burdened with your emotional and spiritual stuff. Besides, if you told them, someone somewhere would just end up judging you. So, don’t ever tell anyone, no matter how much you think you might be able to trust them, about what is going on inside your head. Never share with them the sins you have committed, the things that trigger your temptations or even just the emotions you feel. Don’t ever let anyone know what makes you sad, guilty, ashamed, lonely, angry or happy. Never let them know you are feeling any of those things right now. Instead, just keep it on the inside. If possible, figure out some way to escape those emotions like playing a video game, watching a movie, smoking a joint, drinking some liquor, raging, getting vengeance on someone, eating some ice cream, looking at pornography. See, if you play you cards right at this step, you’ll be jumping back into your sin and not even having to finish all 10 steps.

7. Revel in your entitlements.

Your life stinks right now because no one else is giving you what you expect from them and what you rightfully deserve from them. At all costs, you must avoid anything that looks like selflessness or personal sacrifice. Instead of serving others, simply complain about how no one is serving you. Instead of giving to others or taking the actions of love toward others, focus on all the ways others should be giving to you and aren’t. Focusing on these issues is the perfect way to start building up the justifications and excuses for why you went ahead and sinned even when you “knew better.” If you focus on this stuff enough, you will even be able to convince yourself that God not only understands why you went back into your sins, but He doesn’t mind and would probably have done the same Himself if He had ever lived in the world.

8. Quit reading God’s book.

You definitely don’t want to spend too much time reading your Bible. If you keep doing that, you might find things that help you keep from sinning. You might find the encouragement, comfort, strength, hope and faith to keep relying on God in the troubled times you face. You might learn about people who have faced exactly what you are facing and overcame by the grace and power of God working in their lives. This will, no doubt, be extremely detrimental to your plan to fall back into sin. So, whatever you do, don’t read that book. Just set it on your coffee table. Carry it with you to church (if you decide to go). But don’t read it.

9. Quit talking to God.

This is an absolute must. If you spend too much time praying, you might remember that the only way you can stay out of sin is to surrender your life to Him and let Him run it. That would be a real mistake on your path to fall back into sin. Additionally, if you keep praying you might realize you can get from Him all the things you are trying to get out of your sins–the peace, comfort, emotional support, help through pain, etc. Of course, if you feel the need to keep up with your Christian homework by saying your daily prayers, that can be okay. Just make sure you don’t actually share with God what you are feeling. Keep that tucked away on the inside. Just offer some trite phrases. Don’t think about what you’re saying, just come up with some forms and phrases you can repeat as necessary. “Dear God, thank You for Your many blessings. Forgive me of my sins. Be with the sick the world over. Bless the church. In Jesus name, Amen.” Something like that will accomplish both things. You can say your daily prayers without actually praying. This will work great to salve your conscience but let you go right back into your sinning.

10. Never talk to anyone about your faith.

If you spend too much time talking to folks about your faith in God, you might actually increase that faith. If you increase that faith, you might actually begin to think your sins won’t help you out as much as you initially hoped. If you recognize that, you may hop on the completely wrong path and just keep surrendering yourself to God. Above all, you don’t want to share what God has done for you in the past with other people because you might remember God’s way really does work when all the other ways have always failed you in the end.

As you can see, falling back into your sins really does take some work. I hope my list helps you as you strive to stay on the right path.

Going All the Way

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I had an awesome and awful weekend all rolled into one. Had an awesome weekend studying prayer with some brethren in Chillicothe. But I got really, really sick and that was awful. I don’t think I have been that sick since I was in college. Because of the sickness, I didn’t get to travel home until yesterday and so we missed this week’s Springboard for Your Spiritual Life. We’ll get that back next week. 

I don’t know if what I want to share today is much of a Springboard or if it is just something to share. But I want to share it.

I learned a great lesson this week. Mark and Sharon Hatfield were great hosts to the sick and afflicted. At about 3:30 on Saturday morning, I had to wake Mark up and get some help. After several bouts in the bathroom with my sickness, I was getting weak and feared being dehydrated. I couldn’t find the bottled water or any Gatorade. So I woke him up.

For about 4 hours, I had been sick all alone. I’m not sure I have ever missed my wife as much as I did in those hours. Of course, it’s not like she has miraculous powers to heal. But usually when I’m sick, she’s there. She says comforting things. She sympathizes. She puts a cold rag on my neck. She puts up with my whining and moaning as if I’m on death’s door.

For about 4 hours, no one was there but me and the toilet.

What’s the point in all this? 

I was once again impressed with the reality of the greatness of marriage and love. I remember when I was a teenager and looking forward to marriage. Sadly, my big thought was “I’ll finally get to go ‘all the way.'” For some reason, even Christians, especially as young people, seem to have the idea that marriage is mostly about sex. The fact is, going all the way in a relationship isn’t about sex. If that is your idea of going all the way, you haven’t even gone halfway. In fact, you probably haven’t even scratched the surface of what God really has planned for great relationships. Going all the way in a relationship is about being there through thick and thin. When the wallet is empty and month is left, going all the way is helping each other through. When family members are dying and our emotional well is run dry, going all the way is about being a shoulder to lean on and cry on. Going all the way means loving someone so much when they’re sick you’re right there beside them no matter how gross or painful it is.

The fact is, I never dreamed I would be thankful for my wife because she is there when I’m puking my guts out. However, I guarantee, I’ll never take that for granted again. 

So, don’t think a great relationship is based on looks. Let’s face it, how many Hollywood marriages between hunks and hotties fail every day. A great relationship is not one made up of steamy sex between hot bodies. A great relationship is one where a husband and wife will be there to serve and support even when the other is in its most unattractive position like running at both ends while acting like a big baby.

I grew to love my wife more this weekend and I just want to say a big thank you to her. I found out this weekend what she really does provide for me even when I’m not really thinking about it.

I hope you can say the same about your spouse.

The #1 Key to Help Your Child Learn to Communicate Effectively

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Would you like to improve your children’s ability to communicate effectively? Would you like to help them improve their vocabulary and sentence structure as they talk? Are you tired of sentences filled with “Ums,” “Uhs,” “You knows,” “likes,” “he goes,” and “she goes” and all other violence done to the language of our fathers? Would you like to help your children learn to speak publicly? Would you like to help them have confidence when they open their mouths?

There is a key that helps with all of this. No, I’m not saying it is the panacea for all our generational communication gap woes. Nor am I saying it is foolproof or failproof. But it will really help.

READ TO YOUR CHILDREN!

Yes, absolutely. Read to them. I don’t care how old they are. If they live in your home, read to them. Obviously read age appropriate stuff. If your kids are ages 2 and 5, War and Peace is not likely to help much. At the same time, if your kids are 14 and 16, they may not go for Cat in the Hat after dinner. 

Read to your kids before they know how. Read to them when they say, “I’m too old for this.” Read to them together. Read to them separately. Read to them Mom. Read to them Dad. Encourage them to read to each other. Let them read to you.

Don’t force them to only read classics. Let them read anything (provided it fits within the bounds of your standards of propriety, etc.). Maybe the only like to read sports related books, while you wish they would read To Kill a Mockingbird or The Illiad. Listen, any reading will help them.

Further, let them see you reading. Dads, don’t let your boys grow up thinking reading is for girls. Moms, don’t let your girls grow up thinking reading is men’s work. Just read to them.

Trust me, it will help (even if you can’t always tell).

If you wondering how to start, Jim Trelease has a great book The Read-Aloud Handbook: Sixth Edition (Read-Aloud Handbook). It explains why and how. It even provides a list of great books to read at different age levels. Get it and get started.