God's Way Works

For a better life and a better eternity

Edwin Crozier

Happy Birthday, Marita!

by 3 Comments

Thirty-six years ago today, one of the most special people in the world to me was born. At the time, I had no idea she existed. Of course, at the time, I was not even here. For 20 years, we were oblivious to each other’s existence. She lived in Birmingham at a time when My Dad and I were repeatedly traveling through the city. We may have ridden in cars side by side down the interstate and not even known it.

We met at The University of North Alabama in Florence while eating lunch or dinner (I can’t remember which) at Harold and Annelle Comer’s home. She was beautiful and I was smitten. However, she was still pretty much oblivious to my existence. So, I became a pest. Finally, I got up the nerve to ask her out. She was doing her nails or something like that and couldn’t make it. I was not to be so easily put off. Finally, we went out on a date. Then another. Then another.

I regret to say we were one of those couples who couldn’t decide if we were actually going to keep going out or not. She broke up with me a couple of times, but I kept pulling her back in. Finally, we hit a point where it all just clicked. 

I regret that I was a loser when it came to proposing. I heard a friend talk about renting a limo and taking his girlfriend out on a great date when he proposed. I wish that could be my story. Instead, I was working on all kinds of plans to make my proposal a wonderful Valentine’s present back in 1995. However, I was carrying the ring in my pocket (big mistake) when we pulled into the Chinese buffet for lunch. There we were, parked in the back of this cheap Chinese buffet, parked next to the dumpster no less, the ring burning a hole in my pocket and I blurted out, “Do you want your Valentine’s present?” “Sure,” she said. Out came the ring and a mumbled proposal. I wish I had asked her dad’s permission first. But not only was I a bumbler, I wasn’t as respectful as I should be. Fortunately, he wasn’t too mad about it.

The hassle and wait for a big wedding was just too much. So, we had a small family affair on April 15, 1995. I had finally caught her. HAH! I wish I could say I’ve been a stellar husband for the last 14 years. The truth is, not so much. Because of my total lack of stellarness, we’ve had some rocky days. I’m sure she’s wondered over and over again how on earth she got stuck with me when she could have ended up with so many better guys. But what I appreciate most about her is she didn’t simply get stuck with me, she has stuck with me. Even when I’ve had to apologize for really big blunders, she’s always been there. Most of the time she even says she respects me–go figure.

Thanks to her, I have four wonderful, healthy children. She does most of the raising. She does a great job. She keeps us fed. She keeps us clothed. She keeps sheets on the bed. She keeps us comfortable in our home. She’s a melancholy, so she never thinks she does a great job at any of this and doesn’t believe me when I say it, but she is awesome at all of it.

Today is my springboard for the family day. Maybe this isn’t much of a springboard for you and your family, but I just couldn’t help but give a shout out to the biggest springboard in my family and in my life.

Marita, thank you for marrying me. Thank you for staying with me. I look forward to growing old with you.

 

If You Need a Real Springboard, Here It Is

For those looking for a real springboard for your marriage, here it is. Never let a blog post count as your birthday gift to your wife.

My Own Personal Dayenu

by 1 Comment

Last week, I shared the Hebrew Dayenu prayer for the Passover with you. What a great prayer form it is. Each line intensifies the previous, demonstrating what an amazing God we serve who blesses us and blesses us again. In last week’s post, I promised I would post my own Dayenu this week. So here it is.

Keep in mind, this is my first attempt at anything like this. So be kind to me. It’s not going to win any poetic awards. I doubt it will go down in history as a famous prayer or ever be in anyone’s devotional prayer book. However, it was a great exercise for me. I encourage you to write your own Dayenu. It is a very practical way to count your blessings.

Unlike the Passover version I shared last week, I wrote mine speaking directly to God instead of about Him. Anyway, I hope this exercise will help me abound with thanksgiving (Colossians 2:7).

 

My Dayenu: A Prayer of Thanksgiving

If You had given me life and not created a world for me—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

If You had created a world and not given me sustenance—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

If you had sustained me and not given me clothing—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

If you had given me clothing and not given me a home—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

If you had given me a home and not given me parents—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

 

If you had given me parents and not given me a wife—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

If you had given me a wife and not given us children—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

If you had given us children and not given us health—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

If you had given us health and not given us wisdom—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

If you had given us wisdom and not given us Your Son—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

 

If you had given us Your Son and not given us forgiveness—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

If you had given us forgiveness and not adopted us—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

If you had adopted us and not given us Your Spirit—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

If you had given us Your Spirit and not revealed Your Word through Him—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

If you had given us Your Word and not given us time to grow in it—Dayenu; it would have sufficed!

The #1 Rule to Remember in a Disagreement/Argument

by 1 Comment

If you’re married and/or have kids, you’re going to have disagreements. There’s no way to get around them. They will happen so get ready. I want to share with you the #1 rule I’ve learned will help you get through all your disagreements. Of course, it takes way more than knowing this rule, you have to apply it. I’ve known it a long time. I’m not always the best at applying it.

Sadly, if I forget to apply this rule while in an argument, I lose focus of what’s most important. My goal becomes to win the argument. Winning means either to get my way, prove I’m right, or just get whoever is disagreeing with me to shut up. It’s also an extra bonus if I force them to have to admit I was right and they were wrong and then hold it over their heads for a while. 

Are you seeing where this relationship is going? When this is going on, I may be winning the battles, but I’m losing the relationship. After several of these adventures, the person on the other end of the disagreement just wants to get away from me. Whether it’s Marita, my kids, my extended family, or friends. 

So, what’s the #1 rule? 

Keep the relationship the main thing.

That’s right, even in the heat of the argument I need to remember that the most important thing is the relationship, not winning the argument, not proving my point, not shutting the other person up, not getting gloating rights, not venting my frustrations, not putting them in their place. The number one thing is growing closer to the person with whom I’m arguing. Yes, even a disagreement can result in closer union and more emotional intimacy.

When we get into a disagreement, we need to remember that in a little while that conversation will be over, the decision will be made, and we’ll still have to live with the person at the other end. Do we really want to live with the result of raging so much we made them cry? Do we really want them walking away saying, “There’s no talking to him/her”? Do we really want them hurt or embittered because of the names we called them? Do we really want them wilting inside thinking they can’t ever talk to us because we don’t fight fair?

When I feel myself getting tensed up, when I hear my voice raising in pitch and volume, when I sense my temperature rising, I need to breath deeply, remind myself what is most important. When this disagreement is dealt with, I want my relationship with the other person to be stronger, deeper, closer. Then I need to ask, how can I listen to their point of view and also express mine in a way that will accomplish that?

Above all, I need to…

Keep the relationship the main thing.

The Dayenu: A Prayer of Thanksgiving

by 2 Comments

Thanks to Lori in Pennsylvania for putting me on to this great prayer. According to Wikipedia, it is a prayer the Jews offer as part of their Passover celebration. It is called Dayenu which essentially means “it would have sufficed.” It contains a series of statements about God’s blessings claiming each blessing would have been enough if God had only given that blessing, but He didn’t only give that blessing; He gave more.

This week I’m going to share the prayer with you. My plan is to write my own for next week. Maybe you can write one as well and share it with us in our Springboard for Your Spiritual Life.

If He had brought us out of Egypt, and not carried out judgments against them–Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

If He had carried out judgments against them, and not against their idols–Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

If He had destroyed their idols, and had not smitten their first-born–Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

If He had smitten their firstborn ,and had not given us their wealth–Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

If He had given us their wealth, and had not split the sea for us–Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

If He had split the sea for us, and had not taken us through it on dry land–Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

If He had taken us through the sea on dry land, and had not drowned our oppressors in it–Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

If He had drown our oppressors in it, and had not supplied our needs in the desert for forty years–Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

If He had supplied our needs in the desert for forty years, and had not fed us the manna–Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

If He had fed us manna, and had not given us the Shabbat–Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

If He had given us the Shabbat, and had not brought us before Mount Sinai–Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

If He had brought us before Mount Sinai, and had not given us the Torah–Dayenu, it would have sufficed.

If He had given us the Torah, and had not brought us into the land of Israel–Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

If He had brought us into the land of Israel, and not built for us the Holy Temple–Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

What a great form and model of a thanksgiving prayer. I hope it motivates you as it does me.

Alcohol: The Gateway Sin

by 4 Comments

Alright, alright, I don’t want to get into a huge debate about whether or not a single drink of alcohol is a sin. We can talk about that later. I’ve just talked to several people over the past few weeks who keep having trouble with various sins and it these stories keep starting with one problem–alcohol. So, I thought I’d share Ephesians 5:18 with you.

“And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit” (ESV).

The Greek Word for Drunk

I’m not a Greek scholar, but what I’ve read says the word translated “drunk” here is “methusko.” According to Vine’s, this is special form of the word “methuo” which means to be filled and in the context of intoxicating drink means to be drunk. The special form is called the inceptive form. Vine’s goes on to say that this special form marks the process of the verb. That is, it is not talking about the end result but the process. (Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words, p 343.). Webster’s Dictionary defines “inceptive” as “expressing the beginning of the action indicated by the underlying verb, …” Abbot-Smith’s Manual Greek Lexicon of the New Testamentclaims “methusko” is “causal of [methuo]” (T&T Clark, Edinburgh, Scotland. 1973, p 282.). Bullinger’s A Critical Lexicon and Concordance To the English and Greek New Testament says “methusko” means “to grow drunk (marking the beginning of No. 1 [methuo])” (Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids. 1978. P 238.).

I think this should give us a bit of a pause before we bottoms up. God addresses not just the end result, but the process from beginning to end.

 

Don’t Be Drunk, Be Filled with the Spirit

God didn’t just say don’t be drunk with wine. He offered an alternative. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Sadly, many charismatic teachers have taken this all wrong and believed Paul was saying being in the Spirit meant you would act like you were drunk.

 

That totally misses the point. He says don’t be drunk with wine because there is debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Why? Because you’ll act completely differently when you are filled with the Spirit than if you are filled with wine. Being filled with the Spirit does not mean you will act like a drunken fool. Being filled with the Spirit means you will act with the wisdom of the Spirit (cf. Ephesians 5:15-17).

However, notice Paul’s point in context. Instead of starting the process of be filled with wine, Paul says we should be filled with the Spirit. The contrasting point is to the degree we pursue the process of being filled with wine, we will not be filled with the Spirit. This is important because the Scripture repeatedly points out we must be filled with, led by and follow the Spirit (e.g. Romans 8:5-9; Galatians 5:16-25). 

Scientifically, we know the very first things intoxicants attack are our judgment, willpower, discernment and inhibitions. Things we would never do under normal circumstances, we will do once alcohol gets into our system. Rage, fornication, theft, violence and so one easily follow once we start drinking the lubricant for sin.

This hearkens back to Proverbs 31:4-5, in which Lemuel’s mother told him not to drink lest he drink and forget the law. That is exactly what happens when we drink alcohol. 

 

Alcohol: The Gateway Sin

In reality, even if you want to say that a glass of wine over the holidays is okay, can you at least see what Paul explains here? Alcohol in any amount is dangerous. To the degree you let it into your system, you hinder the work of the Spirit to guide you to life. Sadly, I’ve seen way too many people fall prey to all kinds of sins because they started saying they could handle a bit of alcohol. 

I’m sure dozens of people can say, “I’ve had a drink and I haven’t done those things.” Fine. I can’t answer for everyone. My point is simply this, Paul says it is a gateway to abandoning the Spirit. If you want life through the Spirit, put the booze down. Don’t defend it. Don’t take it up. Set it down. Walk away. Fill yourself with the Spirit instead. That’s where life is.