God's Way Works

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humility

I Don’t Need to Guard Anyone’s Humility

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Have you ever read or heard something that was so subtly profound that it was almost as if you heard an audible click somewhere in your mind as a puzzle piece locked into place. Perhaps it makes something fit about life, about a relationship, or maybe just about yourself and something you’ve been struggling with.

This happened to me yesterday. I’m reading John Powell’s The Secret of Staying in Love* and absolutely loving it (I think he is becoming my new favorite author). While discussing how people can sometimes have a negative reaction to hearing someone else complimented he asked a question about himself:

“Why have I become such a jealous guardian of his humility?”

Someone is rejoicing over a victory, but I don’t want to rejoice with them because I’d hate for it to go to his head. In fact, I want to kick him when he is down because I want to make sure how much work he still has to do. He/she needs to know just how pitiful they are and I’d hate to think they were something more than what they are. I have to make sure that they hear from me exactly what I think they are capable or incapable of. Again, when did I become such a jealous guardian of their humility? When did that become my job?

Do I do this with my wife and kids? Do I see myself as the jealous guardian of the humility of my family? Do I see myself as the lone voice of wisdom that God has placed on this earth and in this family to make sure everyone knows their place? And of course, their place is somewhere subservient to me.

Oh, I’m not suggesting that I should never offer any critical advice. I’m simply suggesting I need to check my motives. Why am I so intent on making sure someone else’s head doesn’t get too big? When did that become my job? Isn’t my job as a husband to love and cherish my wife? Isn’t it to edify her and lift her up? Isn’t it to help her see what is best about her and what is glorious? Isn’t my job as a father to bring my children up to maturity, not keep them down? Isn’t my job to help them discover what their inate gifts and abilities are, providing them the encouragement and resources to pursue those things?

If my family is like me, there will be plenty of scenarios in life to help them stay humble. In fact, I’m pretty sure if humility is the thing they need to help them glorify and serve God, God is pretty good at allowing thorns in the flesh to make sure that happens.

And so again, I have to ask why I have become such a jealous guardian of their humility? Maybe the issue isn’t with my family. Maybe it is with me. Maybe I need to spend some time looking at what is going on in me to find out why their victories, rejoicing, successes, compliments cause me such inner turmoil. Perhaps I need to spend some time getting humble before God and figuring out what fears and insecurities are crippling my relationships with others.

I need to quit being the jealous guardian of others’ humility and instead be the victorious champion of their joy and well-being.

Remember, Gods’ way works for our families.

PS. I want to share a victory. I played The Settlers of Catan* with some friends. On my next turn, I was going to win the game. The friend who played just before me won and won because I wasn’t paying attention and let a trade happen that gave her the game. In time past, I would have been livid. I would have been livid at me for being so stupid as to make the mistake and definitely livid at her for taking the game from me. Instead, I was just happy to have gotten to play the game with some new friends. That may seem small to you, but you can ask my family, that is huge. It was a little sign in my book that says God really is working on me. It was a sign that reminded me God’s way really does work. Have a great week and play some games with your family.

* Yes, these were affiliate links. Trust me, you want to click on them and buy something. John Powell’s books are easy reads and truly profound and there just isn’t a game that is much more fun than Settlers of Catan. Here, I’ll give you another opportunity.

Do Not Boast or Be Arrogant–Love Yourself

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(If you’ve stumbled across thist post, let me explain where you are. You have landed smack in the middle of one of my favorite series ever. We started some time ago by learning that God expects us to love ourselves. Now, we’re going through the definition of love in I Corinthians 13:4-7 to help us understand how we can love ourselves in a healthy way so can love others better. Go back to that first post to read the series from the beginning and to find an index of all the posts available. Enjoy today’s post as well.)

Do Not Boast or Be Arrogant–Love Yourself

Perhaps this shocks you. Generally when we think of those who love themselves, we think of boasting and arrogance. However, this demonstrates that loving ourselves as God loves us and the way we are to love others is not about being self-infatuated, self-centered, or selfish. Healthy love for ourselves doesn’t boast and isn’t arrogant.

When we see the Pharisee in Luke 18:11-12, we say, “That man’s problem is he loves himself too much.”

God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.

Despite how self-promoting that was, that is not a healthy love for self. Rather, it is a shallow approach to self. This man didn’t have a healthy love for himself because of any innate value as a creation and child of God. In fact, he did himself a disservice while not even realizing it. He only saw himself as worth anything based on how he compared to others. In this case, he saw himself as better than others, which is certainly a sinful attitude. However, it establishes a terrible groundrule by which to judge self. What would happen when he came across someone to whom he didn’t compare?

Loving ourselves in a healthy way is recognizing the innate value we have as a creation of God who is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Loving ourselves in a healthy way is recognizing the innate value we have because God loves us no matter who we are or what we’ve done (I John 4:19). Loving ourselves in a helathy way is recognizing the innate value we have because we are in the same boat as everyone else around us (Romans 3:23).

When we begin to pervert our healthy love into self-infatuation through boasting and arrogance as if our innate value originates from us and what we do rather than from God and what He has done in us, then we have ceased to love ourselves properly and will not be able to love others properly.

Boast in God, not self. You are worth far more than the shallow comparisons with other people whether those comparisons lead you to envy, as we discussed last week, or to boasting and arrogance. Don’t sacrifice the truly healthy love God has granted you for that shallow pretense of real love.

Don’t boast or be arrogant, instead love yourself as God has loved you.

ELC

(Remember to come back next Monday as we learn that we can love ourselves instead of being rude.)

I Am Not Your God and I Need to Quit Acting Like It

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Sorry for missing Thursday’s and Friday’s posts and for being so late today. As I mentioned in last Wednesday’s post, I was under the weather a good bit last week. Additionally, I’m having some trouble with my internet at home and couldn’t get to this page to update it. I’m working on that. I can access the page from my office, so I’ll try to stay on top of this week’s posts.

Also, let me remind you that there are still a few more days (through August 26) in which you can be of some big help to me and the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I’m still a good ways from my bail goal and would really appreciate your help. Just check out the website and make a donation (no matter how large or small) and you’ll be a big help to someone who is suffering with Muscular Dystrophy. Thanks.

I Am Not Your God and I Need to Quit Acting Like It

Over at Give Attention to Reading last week, we were reading through Romans. Romans 14:4 caught one reader’s eye. I just have to share what talking about this point brought to my attention about our spiritual lives.

“Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the lord is able to make him stand.”

Please don’t misunderstand anything I’m going to say here. I fully recognize God calls us to make judgments, but to do so with a righteous judgment (cf. John 7:24). I also know this passage is not condemning congregational discipline when prompted properly (cf. Matthew 18:15-20; I Corinthians 5:1-13). However, Paul means something when he reminds us that we are not anyone’s master. 

I can’t help but think about my own children. I don’t know how many times a day I have to remind one of them, “Hey, you are not the parent.” Of course, Tessa suffers badly from oldest child syndrome and I have to remind her repeatedly, “Tessa, you are not Ethan and Ryan’s mom.” She may claim she is just trying to help. She may claim she is just joking. She may claim she is just trying to uphold our rules. But in those instances, it is all too plain to see her taking authority to herself that simply isn’t hers. Usually, we are right there to say, “You aren’t the parent.”

Along with Romans 14:4, that caused me to stop in my tracks and wonder. How many times a day as I speak to others is God up in heaven, shaking His head saying, “Edwin, you are not their God.” Certainly, I should be there to help others. Certainly when I see someone turning from God’s path, I need to come up alongside them and encourage them in the right way. However, I am not their God. I have to make sure I’m coming alongside as a fellow brother, traveler, partner. I should come along as a concerned friend. Too often I come along as the authority trying to wield some kind of punitive right over them. Too easily I lift myself up as if I am above them. God simply says, “Edwin, stop acting like that. You are not their God.” 

Additionally, I need to remember that God has granted leeway in many cases. I do not get to act like my way is equivalent to God’s. This may be something as simple as how we dress for the church’s assembly. I personally like to dress up as a way to show respect for what we are doing. That doesn’t mean I get to make a rule for everyone else and demand they show respect my way or view them as not quite as spiritual as me. On the other hand, others may prefer to dress more casually for any number of reasons. They don’t get to look down on me as old-fashioned or traditionalistic and make up a rule that I have to dress down to be really spiritual like them. As I am making judgments about how to live my life where God has provided principles but not drawn exact lines, I have to take some real care about acting like I’m God. I’m not (aren’t you thankful?).

I think if we can all remember that we are not the master, we are not God, relationships in Christ’s body would probably all be just a bit smoother. If we can remember that we are just fellow servants with one another, brothers and sisters, and approach each other with that attitude, even great differences might be resolved better.

The next time you are approaching someone else with God’s word, take a moment to remind yourself, “I’m not their God.” I bet it helps.

On Bibs and Aprons OR Serving and Being Served

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I got to hear my good friend Max Dawson preach two lessons on leadership yesterday. He reminded me of things I’d read before. He reminded me of things we had talked about before. He increased my understanding of leadership. He asked a question as he closed his lessons that I want to pass on to you.

When you woke up and got dressed this morning, what did you put on? No, I’m not talking about your actual clothes. I don’t care if you’re wearing jeans, shorts, or a suit; a dress, a skirt, or a pantsuit. I’m wanting to know if you put on a bib or an apron.

You see many of us wake up every morning and the first thing we put on is our bib. We want to make sure we stay clean as every one else serves us and provides for us. However, others get up and put on an apron. They are getting ready to get to work and be servants.

Today in my Bible reading over at Give Attention to Reading, I read Luke 22:26 in which Jesus said, “let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.” 

Jesus came to serve and not be served. We need to follow in His footsteps. Growing in Christ doesn’t mean becoming more and more of a boss who gets to tell everyone else what to do. Growing in Christ means becoming more and more of a servant.

So, if you haven’t already done so, get out your apron. Put it on and get to serving.