Racquetball! What a game. I remember playing with my Dad as a kid and then on up into my teen years. Neither one of us was that good, but we had fun. So when I recently learned of a nearby gym that had a racquetball court, I jumped at it. The deciding factor was not that I’m trying to lose weight or need exercise. The deciding factor was that I want to create memories with my kids. One day, I want them to say, “Racquetball! I love racquetball. I used to play that with my dad.” On Tuesday night, I started creating those memories with my boys.
fathering
The Top 5 Things to Say to Your Kids When You Get Home
They have been patiently waiting for you to come home. They can’t wait to see you. You are their Dad, their leader. They want to be like you. They want you to love them. Those first few moments through the door will mean so much. So, here are my top 5 things you can say to them when you walk through the door. Try some tonight and let us know how it works.
#1. I love you.
Does this actually need explanation? We walk through the door, tired, exhausted and we forget that our kids need this affirmation all the time. Run up to them like they are the greatest person in the world, give them a hug and say, “I love you.”
#2. I missed you today, I’m so glad to see you.
Your kids are desperately glad to see you. Let them know the feeling is mutual. Let them know they are important to you. When my kids were 2, they would all come running up to me as I walked through the door like I was the most important person in the world to them. I want them to feel that same way every time I walk through the door.
#3. What happened in your world today?
Don’t be so caught up in your own world that you forget about your kids. Ask them about their day. Then listen without judgment. Get down on their level. Sit down with them on the couch. If they are still small enough, let them sit in your lap. Look them in the eye and then listen intently. Rejoice about whatever they are rejoicing. Weep about whatever they are weeping.
#4. What can we do together tonight?
Spend some time with them. Let them know you want to spend time with them. Spend some time doing what they want. Do they want to throw the football, do it. Do they want to have a play teatime, do it. Do they want to put together a puzzle, do it. I know you may not be able to do this every night. But do it some time. Do it regularly.
#5. Do you know why I love you?
This is one of my favorite things to ask my kids. Certainly, you might answer this with reasons of your own. “I love you because you’re cute.” “…you are funny.” “…you are fun.” But, I don’t like these answers because it suggests if they ever think they aren’t cute, funny, fun or whatever that you won’t love them anymore. Instead, I tell my kids, “I love you because you’re you.” I tell my kids, “I love you because you’re Trina.” “I love you because you’re Ryan.” “I love you because you’re Ethan.” “I love you because you’re Tessa.” As long as they are who they are, I’ll love them. One of the most precious moments in my life was when two-year-old Trina said, “You know why I love you?” “Why?” “I love you cuz you Daddy.” Can’t beat that.
I know you’re tired when you get home. I know you want to slink off into your man cave. I know you want to slip away into a world of televised escape. But first, say something to your kids. Let them know how important they are to you. By the way, don’t forget you are also coming home to your wife. Click here for some things you can say to her.
Maybe I missed something you’ve found that is great to say to your kids when you get home. What do you say to your kids when you get home? You can add your input by clicking here.
How Does a Real Man Act? More Input From You Please
I’m really caught up in figuring out how to plan my boys’ training for the next few years. Having been inspired by Robert Lewis’s Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father’s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood
Last week, you helped me give some consideration to a Vision of Manhood. What does a real man look like. Thanks for helping out with that. He looks like a servant who is devoted first to God, loves his wife, is committed, honest, sacrificial. You gave me some great help and provided the web world with some great info.
I need some more help. Lewis went on to get a little more specific. The Vision of Manhood is about over-arching concepts of manhood. He then provided a Code of Conduct that he and his buddies developed to pass on to their boys. He listed 10 things, but I don’t want to muddy your thinking with all 10. But I’ll give an example. One aspect of his code of conduct was “Kindness.” A real conducts himself in kindness.
So, within the vision of manhood that we are developing, what are some aspects of everyday conduct that you would teach a boy to help him become a man.
How does a real man conduct himself?
You can provide your input by clicking here. And again, thanks for your help.
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This page does contain affiliate links. Here’s another one. If you’d like to learn more about Lewis’s vision of manhood for his boys, make sure you check out his book. Click the link below.
For Dad So Loved His Family That He…
John 3:16 is probably the most well-known and oft-quoted verse in the Bible (except perhaps Matthew 7:1). We all know it: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” That verse provides great comfort and encouragement for me. However, it hit me a little different today.
My heavenly Father loved me so much, He gave His only begotten Son so I might live. That made me wonder, if my kids were writing a book what might they be able to say about me.
“Dad so loved us kids that he…”
What would they say?
I don’t have much to add to that right now. I just wanted you thinking about it too.