Love

Be Kind to Yourself, Love Yourself

July 19, 2010 by Edwin Crozier 3 Comments

Before my hiatus, we started looking at God’s love for us and noted that if God loves us, we are allowed to love ourselves. In fact, we noted from Matthew 22:39, that God didn’t command us to do this, He simply expected it. Let’s pick back up on that series of learning how to properly love ourselves, so we may love others properly.

Be Kind to Yourself

I Corinthians 13:4-7 has been our guide for this journey. We’ve already learned about being patient with ourselves, Paul then says love is kind. If we are allowed to love ourselves, then we are allowed to be kind to ourselves.

This sounds odd to us. “Be kind to myself,” we think, “I’m always kind to myself.” Really? If you talked to others the way you talk to yourself, would anyone mistake your treatment for kindness? What about when you make a mistake? Do you call yourself names? “You idiot.” “Only a moron would make that mistake.” “You’re such a failure.” “No wonder you’re such a screw-up.” When you go to someone for help or to ask a question, do you lay the foundation of your own inadequacy? “I know this is probably just because I’m stupid, but could you help me with…” “I’m sure you’ll think I’m a loser, but I don’t understand…” When you look in the mirror, what do you say to yourself? “You fat, ugly slob.” “Who would ever be attracted to you with your bald head?” “You are so pathetic.”

If you are saying these things to yourself, I’m sure you think you are just being honest. You think you are just keeping your head in reality. But if you talked to anyone else like this, you would be shunned as unkind. You are allowed to be kind to yourself. You are allowed to say nice things to yourself. In fact, you should make a habit of it. The fact is, if you call yourself pathetic and ugly every time you look in the mirror, you’ll start to walk that way, talk that way, act that way. People will think you are because they sense it coming from your every pore.

Say nice things to yourself. “You’re beautiful.” “You’re nice.” “Your hair looks good today.” “Those clothes look nice on you.” “You’re a success.” Not in a pompous, conceited, self-centered way. Not in the “You’re the hottest thing on the block” sort of way. Simply in a loving yourself way. If you can’t bring yourself to say these kinds of things because you keep telling yourself you are lying to yourself, then why not try saying, “God loves you just the way you are.” “God loves you so much just the way you are that He sent Jesus to die for you.” Those statements are true. You are allowed to say them and remind yourself.

Take Care of Yourself

Do you remember what the stewardess said to you on your last flight? While she was demonstrating all the equipment and you were hardly paying attention she talked about the cabin pressure. If something breached that pressure, an oxygen mask would fall out of the ceiling. What did she tell you to do before you helped your child sitting next to you? She said to put your mask on yourself first. What a shocking display of self-centered selfishness. And yet, we need to follow that advice. Why? Because if we don’t quickly put our mask on first, we may pass out before we are able to help the person next to us. There really is a time to take care of yourself before you take care of anyone else.

I’m not advocating looking out for number 1 because if you don’t no one else will. However, we do need to understand that killing ourselves in the service of others is not what God wants of us. He wants us to serve in such a way that we can keep serving for days and years to come. (Yes, I understand there is a time for the ultimate sacrifice and martyrdom but let’s understand that doesn’t have to happen every day.) Too many people are killing the goose that lays the golden eggs of service. Yes, serve your children, your family, your friends, your brethren, but don’t do it in such a way that you end up in the hospital because you aren’t taking care of yourself.

Yes, you need to serve your children. But moms, its okay to let your children know that Mommy has to eat something before she turns into a hypoclycemic bear. “Kids, you’ll just have to wait while Mommy takes care of herself so she can then properly take care of you.” Yes, you need to serve your neighbors. But if your body is worn out, you need to take time to rest. You are allowed to tell someone, “No, I just can’t help you with that right now. I need some time to recharge. I’ll be able to help you at such and such a time.” Yes you need to do that work for the congregation in the Bible classes. But if your own spiritual batteries are low it is okay to let someone know, “I’ve got to have some time to connect with God myself and let Him restore my soul.” When you need some time with just you and God, take it.

I don’t know what sins you struggle with, but there are four times when you are made extremely vulnerable to fall into them. Remember the acronym H.A.L.T. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. When you find yourself in one of these situations, you are walking on thin ice. It is time to take care of yourself. Consider what you need to overcome these scenarios. If you just keep pushing yourself to take care of others, you’re going to fall into sin. God hasn’t asked you to serve your way in to sin.

I know you are reading this with skepticism. This just doesn’t seem right to us. We have been so taught about self-sacrifice and service that this seems anathema. However, this is such a proper principle that even Jesus exemplified it. Yes, the very Jesus who did let Himself get killed in our service, understood that there is a time to take care of ourselves.

In Matthew 14:22, Jesus dismissed the crowds and then put the disciples on a boat to cross the Sea of Galilee. In Matthew 14:23, the text says He was alone when evening came. He was taking some alone time with His Father. He was recharging His spiritual batteries. He was finally doing what He had come to do but had put off because of the crowds. Yes, He did sacrifice to serve, but when evening came, He took care of Himself first. Evening is around sundown. The disciples were already in their boat on their way at that time. But they were having trouble. The winds were keeping them from getting anywhere. No doubt they were tired, they were struggling, they were weary, they were scared. What did Jesus do? He kept on praying. Don’t forget this is Jesus, God in the flesh, He knew what was going on out there. But what did He do? He kept on praying alone with the Father.

Not until the fourth watch of the night (Matthew 14:25) did Jesus come to their aid. The fourth watch is from 3 am to 6 am. They had been struggling since before evening the previous day. Jesus didn’t come to their aid for hours. Why? Because even Jesus needed to take care of Himself. He needed to have time with the Father if He would be of any service to anyone else.

We Can’t Give What We Don’t Have

If we don’t take care of ourselves, then we won’t have anything to give in service to others. You are allowed to be kind to yourself. Otherwise, you won’t really have any kindness to give to others. Trust me, what you think is being a sacrificing servant will end up simply being manipulative martyrdom. It will backfire in the end.

Take time to take care of yourself, to be kind to yourself, to love yourself. Then you will have the strength you need from God to love others as He has commanded.

Make sure to come back next Monday as we learn a little bit more about kindness to ourselves.

I’d Like to Share a Victory

July 5, 2010 by Edwin Crozier 2 Comments

It’s good to be back on the web. The break was needed, but seems like it went a little too long for my taste. Thanks for your patience with me.

When I started the break, our Monday posts on God’s Way for Our Lives was starting a series on learning to love ourselves properly. I’m glad to get back to that. However, before we take up our look at the definition of Love in I Corinthians 13, I just want to share a victory with you. It shows this blogging thing is helping me out just like I wanted it to.

Before I started looking at this biblical concept that we are allowed to love ourselves, I would have beat myself to death trying to maintain this blog even through all the turmoil of making the move. That might have meant putting some family issues to the side. It would surely have meant missing out on some time with my children and wife, which was so needed as I was leading them through this transition. It probably would have meant sleepless nights and grumpy Dad. Or, I might have grudgingly caved on the blogs but hated myself for not having the stamina to keep it up. I would have trashed myself, probably even on this blog in order to try to make me feel better about what I would have seen as a colossal failure.

However, I’ve learned that love is patient and love is kind. I’m allowed to be patient with myself. Just because I can’t do everything I want to be able to do, doesn’t mean I need to belittle myself, talk down to myself, despise myself. I’m also allowed to be kind to myself. The fact is, in a transition like a move, something is going to have to give. It is not normal life. It’s okay to let things go for the sake of my sanity. I don’t have to beat myself up for going through a special season.

I’m so thankful for the liberty from stress this recognition that I’m allowed to love myself by being patient with myself and kind to me is bringing. I’m so thankful that I’m able to jump back into this blog without all the feelings of shame for having to break for multiple months. I’m so glad I have God’s word to guide me and help me have peace and serenity through God’s love, knowing that God loves me whether I blog or not. I’m allowed to love me too.

This is a huge victory for me. It means God’s word really is impacting my outlook on life and His peace is guarding my heart and mind. Thank you, God, for that protection. Please, keep it up.

I hope you can keep joining me on our Monday posts to learn more about properly loving ourselves so we can love others properly as well.

Remember, God’s way works.

Be Patient with Yourself, Love Yourself

May 4, 2010 by Edwin Crozier 7 Comments

A few weeks ago, we started looking at God’s love for us and noted that if God loves us, we are allowed to love ourselves. In fact, we noted from Matthew 22:39, that God didn’t command us to do this, He simply expected it.

The problem, of course, is we have been so warned against self-centeredness that hearing this shocks us a bit. We aren’t allowed to love ourselves, we think, because that is narcissism. That would be selfish. Besides, II Timothy 3:2 warns that the sinners of this age will be lovers of self. Clearly, there is a way in which we are allowed to love ourselves and a way in which we aren’t. I think the best explanation of how to love ourselves biblically can be found in I Corinthians 13:4-7. If we pursue God’s definition of love for others, and are supposed to love them as we do ourselves, then this will help us love ourselves properly.

Love Is Patient

The first thing Paul said is, “Love is patient.”

Be patient with yourself. If you’re like me, you are a mess. You don’t want anyone else to know it and you do your best to put on a great face so no one else will ever know it, but you know exactly what a mess you are. You know every flaw, every mistake, every failure, every sin. In fact, you know the little bitty things that no one else would recognize as bad, but you know for you it is.

With every mistake, you can begin to beat yourself up, shame yourself, throw your hands in the air and claim there just isn’t any reason to keep going on. “Why bother,” you tell yourself, “I’m never going to make it.”

But love is patient. Be patient with yourself. God is patient with you. II Peter 3:9 says the Lord is not slow about His promises, He is simply patient, not wishing any of us to perish. A few verses later, he says we should count this patience as our salvation (II Peter 3:15). God is waiting on us.

However, there is an even better reason to be patient with yourself than simply God is patient with you.

God is Working On You

Not only is God waiting on us, God is working on us. Philippians 2:12-13 encourages us to keep working on ourselves, not because we are doing such a great job, not because we are perfect, not because we make no mistakes. We should keep working on ourselves because God is working on us and in us.

Romans 8:28-30 explains that God is going to bring us to conformity with Jesus. He is working on us and He will get us there. When we mess up, there is no need to throw our hands up and quit. Rather, be patient. God is working on us. We just need to keep working.

Let’s face it, we are all like toddlers struggling to walk in a manner worthy of Jesus Christ. As we start to pull up on the furniture, we are going to fall. We may even fall a lot. However, eventually, just as sure as little children eventually learn how to walk, we will to. Not because we’re such great walkers, but because we aren’t alone. God is holding our hand.

Even after we’ve been walking for a while, we may have a big fall. In fact, just this morning, I fell down the stairs (again). However, God is still working on us. He still loves us and is patient with us. We can be patient with ourselves as well.

Patient, not Permissive

Now, please don’t misunderstand. Romans 6:1-2 says, “Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means!” Being patient with ourselves when we sin, doesn’t mean we are granted permission to sin. God’s patience with us is not a license to sin. Neither should our own patience be.

The point is simply that since we are growing and are not perfect yet (Philippians 3:12), we will stumble and fall. When we do, patience doesn’t tell us not to care and just stay on the ground wallowing in the mud. Patience says to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, pick up our cross and keep walking. Or rather, it tells us to let God pick us up, clean us off, give us our cross, and keep walking with Him.

I don’t know what has been happening in your life. I don’t know what struggles you have or what failures you’ve made. All I know is this, if you love God, He is working on you. Be patient with Him. Be patient with yourself. Love is patient. Why not love yourself today, cut yourself some slack. Be patient. You’ll make it. God has promised you will.

Come back next week, we’ll learn about being kind to ourselves.

We Don’t Have to Earn God’s Love

April 26, 2010 by Edwin Crozier Leave a Comment

A few weeks ago, we started what I think is an extremely important and yet misunderstood topic: Loving Ourselves. We are allowed to do that. Two weeks ago, we noticed that as unlovable as we may see ourselves, we need to simply trust God who looks at us and loves us.

Having heard that God really does love us, we can easily start running through the mental gymnastics of the devil as he tries to convince us that God does not love us, in fact could not love us because we are so bad. With that mindset, we often start trying to earn God’s love. We decide that in order to get God to love us we need to read our Bibles more, pray more, sin less, teach more, attend congregational assemblies more, and on and on the list may go. We seem to think that if we make ourselves better, then we might become worthy of God’s love.

I John 4:7-9 says, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.”

Consider what this says. That love of God is not based on anything we do. God doesn’t love us because of anything we’ve done, but because He is love. That means God won’t stop loving us because of anything we do, because He is love. He manifested that love eternally by sending His Son to die for us. He died for us even while we were sinners and doing nothing worthy of that love.

What does that mean for us? It means there is not one single thing we can do today to make God love us any more. At the same time, it means there is not one single thing we can do today to make God love us any less. We don’t have to try to earn it. We don’t have to fear losing that love.

Once we recognize that, how can we not love God ourselves? Because of that love we will want to draw closer to Him through Bible reading, prayer, spending time with God’s children, avoiding sin, etc. If we do sin, we can recognize God still loves us and instead of running from God, we can run to God, confessing our sin and accepting the forgiveness He has promised.

If God would love us like this despite all we’ve done, we can love us too.

Keep coming back. Next week, we’ll start looking at I Corinthians 13:4-7 to see what it means to love ourselves properly according to God’s will.

God Loves You Today, So Should You

April 12, 2010 by Edwin Crozier 2 Comments

Last Monday, I introduced a topic about loving ourselves. That doesn’t seem to be as hot of a topic as what I’ve said about Christians and politics, but I think it is a great deal more needed.

Even having seen a biblical basis for loving ourselves, we can still believe we are just unlovable. Sure, you may think I’m a cuddly sort of fellow. I’m nice enough. I’ve probably usually spoken to you with kindness. But if you actually knew me. If I laid out my history before you, you’d run screaming. If I told you some of the things that have been in my head, you would flee, flapping your arms about your head trying to ward off the craziness. The problem is, I do know me. I know what I’ve thought about. I know what I’ve done. Regrettably, I can’t run away from it. It’s always with me.

Do you know that same feeling?

I can’t speak for everyone else in the world. I don’t know what everyone else would do if they learned about who you really are when the masks come off. But I can share with you what God said. God knew your entire history. God knows every thought you’ve ever had. God knew every mistake, every failure, every sin. He knew every lie. He knew every lust. He knew every theft. He knew every immorality. He knew every covetousness. He knew every arrogance. He knew every judgment. He knew every hurt. He knew every betrayal. He knew it all. There is not one thing you have kept hidden from Him. He knew it all before you were even here.

Do you know what He did even though He knew every bit of that? He loved you. He looked at you and said, “There is someone I can love.” And He sent Jesus to die for you so you might be forgiven and set free from all that wrong. Romans 5:6-8 says, “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person–though perhaps for a good person one would are even to die–but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

So, before you start hating on yourself today, stop and think about what God did for you even though He knew everything you did. If God can love you, then you must be pretty lovable. Why not love yourself too?

[EDIT] As per Michelle’s request: A Link to my sermon entitled “Worth a Son”

Thanks for the suggestion, Michelle.

Love Yourself Today

April 5, 2010 by Edwin Crozier 10 Comments

Index of “Loving Ourselves” Posts

God Loves You Today, So Should You

We Don’t Have to Earn God’s Love

Be Patient With Yourself

Be Kind to Yourself

Nourish and Cherish Yourself

Do Not Envy

Do Not Boast or Be Arrogant

Don’t Be Rude to Yourself

Don’t Insist On Your Own Way

Don’t Be Irritable With Yourself

Don’t Resent Yourself

Rejoice in Truth, not Wrong-doing

Bear and Endure All Things

Believe and Hope All Things

Hating Ourselves

A man, supposedly in his late 40s posted the following in an internet forum that I do not want to link you to.

“I hate what I see in the mirror. I hate my past. I hate my present. I hate everything I am. I go to bed every night wishing I would wakeup with some disease and only have a few months to live. Or that I would die on the way to work in a car wreck or have a massive heart attack. That would show them wouldn’t it. Would anyone really care if I was gone? I walk around feeling empty inside and nobody notices. Why can’t anyone see how sad I am? Can’t anyone see how much pain I am in? Can’t anyone see me struggling to stay alive? I hate myself even more for having these thoughts. How weak is that? Why can’t I be a real man and get over it? I ask myself if this is a cruel joke God is playing on me? Is this payback for all the bad I had done in my life? Why am I here? I am so pathetic and such a loser.”

The responses he received were not much better.

“You and me both. I know how you feel. Every day I wake up hoping to die. I’ve been through a lot … in my lifetime. Most of the time, I don’t see what the point of living is. At university, everyone ignores me. No one cares about me. Most of my family hate me. I have no friends…I’m not even my won friend.”

“I know there are people who love me, but it doesn’t make a difference to me. I feel like you. I’m a loser.”

“Bro, I feel so close to you. I hate myself and I hate myself that I hate myself in the same time. I don’t know how to feel or what to feel. Sometime I blame life and gods but then I hate myself that I should just blame myself. I hate myself more than I hate this meanless life. I hate my boring look, my stupid brain, my weak body, and my ugly mouth that always say the wrong things.”

“I go through life pretending I am so happy, but if anyone even cared they’d look deeper. And even though I am female, I totally understand how you feel. They all say life is a rollercoaster, but it feels like it is only going down and down further each day.”

Someone finally posted:

GOD LOVES YOU! Nothing is more important than that.

To which the next responder replied:

“I wish I could believe in that premise, but I’m finding it hard these days. I have failed at everything I’ve ever done and tried. At the same time, I’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve been a hard-working blue collar guy all of my life. I’ve never broken a law or hurt anyone. Now, at 47, laid off from my job nearly a year, a wife of 19 years who looks at me like a loser. No kids. Little savings. The only thing I truly love are my two dogs who are always faithful.

“I look back and conclude that my life has been pointless. Utterly meaningless. I hate myself so much, that I love my own honesty about it.

“I hate myself so much that I pray for death. I am a 30-year smoker and am happy about it. Lung cancer, colon cancer, a massive coronary all sound good to me. I’ll take any of them. Then I can go down for the long sleep and all of this…would be over. No more worries. No more insomnia or nightmares. Not another morning waking to nothingness. Worthlessness. Pain.

“The only reason I haven’t put a bullet thru my head is because of the last remaining shred of Christianity, that suicide is the ultimate sin from which there is no forgiveness. So, I’m finding it harder to believe that God is here, or cares. I have sinned like all humans on this planet and regret them all. But, if he’s there, he’s forsaken me. I guess I don’t blame him. I would too if I were him.”

Self-loathing and self-hatred: Some of us have it down to a science. Some of us are even convinced we are more spiritual because of our negative feelings toward ourselves. We are sure that any kind of love we have for ourselves would only be selfishness, self-centeredness, arrogance. We are sure that any kind of love we might have for ourselves would mean we weren’t seeing ourselves in the sinful light we are sure we must recognize. I’d like to share a Biblical revelation with you. We are allowed to love ourselves.

Some hearing this will think this is no big deal and wonder why I’m even sharing such depressing stuff. Others are saying they know how these people online feel and want to find out where this stuff came from. They are saying, “Are you sure? Are you sure I’m allowed to love myself? If you knew me like I do, you wouldn’t be saying that.” I’m talking to you. God says you are allowed to love yourself.

Why do Christians Struggle with Self-Loathing?

For those who don’t understand, here’s the problem. Some look at their sins and equate their existence with their sinfulness. They don’t just despise their sins; they despise themselves for their sins. I understand that. With each new sin, no matter how small or great, we receive another reminder of how worthless and unlovable we are.

Some look at their bodies. They see themselves as too thin or too fat, too tall or too short, too plain, too out of proportion, maybe their ears are too big or their chin is too small. They equate their body with themselves and hate themselves a little more every time they look in the mirror. As an overweight guy, I can understand that too.

Some listen to the negative messages they’ve heard from parents, professors, and peers: “You’re never going to amount to anything.” “You’re so pathetic.” “You’re a loser.” “You’re worthless.” “I don’t even know why I had you.” “I don’t even know why they let you in this school.” “I don’t even know why I’m friends with you.” “You’re the worst __________.”

Some want to be perfect and every mistake adds another level of loathing. Each failure reinforces the messages they heard from others and they play those messages over and over again in their heads. I haven’t heard all these, but I’ve heard some things. I understand this.

Some look at how they’ve treated others and the mistakes they’ve made in relationships. Every time they see someone they’ve hurt, they heap punishment on themselves. How could the one they’ve hurt love them; how can they love themselves? I wish this one didn’t ring so true. But I get it.

Then, they “go to church” and see everyone wearing their Sunday smiles, and hate themselves a little more for not being strong and perfect like everyone else. You ought to try being the guy who looks out over the whole audience each week to see what appear to be a whole bunch of people who have it together. It’s a weekly reminder of, “Why on earth am I the guy up here preaching?”

For you, “hate” and “loathe” may be too strong of terms. But how do you talk to yourself? Do you call yourself names? “Idiot,” “Loser,” “Moron.” Do you talk down to yourself? “If you had half a brain, you wouldn’t make mistakes like this.” “You’re such a ______, no wonder nobody likes you.” Do you punish yourself over and over again? “I don’t deserve to have a relationship, I’ll sabotage this one.” “I don’t deserve to be thin, I’m going to eat two extra helpings of ice cream.” “I don’t deserve to be pretty, I’ll go out in my rattiest clothes and refuse to try to look nice.” If you treated someone else the way you treat yourself, would they mistake it for love? Maybe your feelings aren’t as dark as those shared at the beginning of this post, but are you treating yourself the way God wants you to?

I know the struggle with these feelings. I like to say that “hate” and “loathe” are too strong of terms for how I’ve felt about myself. Maybe they are. But I can guarantee you that when I talk to others the way I talk to myself about mistakes, value, life in general, no one would mistake it for love. If I talk to my wife the way I talk to myself, she would not think I was loving her. In fact, she probably would think I hate her. If I talk to my kids the way I talk to myself most of the time, they’d end up in therapy (that may happen anyway). I get it.

I’m even one of those people who likes to tell myself this is how I’m supposed to treat me because it is really spiritual. I should despise me for my sins and imperfections. That means I have a realistic self-image based on the Bible. After all, the Bible rebukes all the sins I’ve committed and says I deserve judgment for what I’ve done. I should not like me. If I like me, that means I like the sins I’ve committed. I don’t do as some, flagellating themselves with whips and hurting themselves physically (based on a misunderstanding of I Corinthias 9:27). But verbally and mentally I’ve been there. You should hear the names I call myself when I simply make a wrong turn. If I said that to someone else, folks would be scandalized.

Loving Ourselves

But then I reread Matthew 22:37-40. The two greatest commandments are, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” The second is very similar, Jesus said, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

I’ve read these commands before. I’ve been in classes about them. I’ve preached sermons about them. But on a gut, emotional, core value level, I missed something about these verses. There are two commands about love, but there is a third statement about love within them. It is not a command because it is simply assumed. We are supposed to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.

Do not miss the profound nature of this. Not only are we allowed to love ourselves, we are supposed to love ourselves. Loving ourselves is the foundation for loving others properly. If we despise ourselves, loathe ourselves, and hate ourselves, we will not be able to love others properly or in a healthy way.

The sad reality is too many of us do love others exactly the way we love ourselves, we hate ourselves so we hate others. Maybe “hate” is too strong of a word in this case too. But I think of my statements above about talking to my wife and children. There I said, “if.” I should actually say, “when.” Because I have talked to them these ways. However, as I’ve grown, I’ve discovered that when I talk to others this way, almost without fail I’m not really angry at others. I’m angry at me. The self-loathing simply wells up inside and despite my best efforts to control it seeps forth like too much jello in a mold. My experience is most of my outbursts at others are actually outbursts at myself directed outwardly. It is as if some part of me wants them to feel about me the way I do in that moment and so I’ll sabotage the relationship so they can punish me as I’m sure I deserve. Or these outbursts are attempts to be able to shift my own gaze on to someone else so I can convince myself that they are really the bad one and I can think better of me.

Though I don’t need personal experience to know what Jesus says is true, I have seen my own experience support what Jesus says here. We have to love ourselves properly before we’ll love others properly. When I am most hateful with myself, that is when I’m most hateful with others.

Look again at what Jesus said. “You shall love your neighbor as you love yourself.” Not only are we allowed to love ourselves and supposed to love ourselves, these verses demonstrates that God expects us to love ourselves. Jesus didn’t command loving ourselves, He simply assumed we would.

If you’re like me, hearing this for the first time, you are probably raising all kinds of objections. “What? This sounds like narcissism to me. This sounds like selfishness and self-centeredness.” Of course God doesn’t condone narcissism. I’m not saying we are allowed to be obsessed with ourselves. Of course God doesn’t allow selfishness and self-centeredness. I’m not saying God allows us to hate others while we focus on ourselves. However, there is no getting around it. God assumes that we’ll love ourselves. In fact, He has said this not once, but twice. In Ephesians 5:28-29, Paul says husbands should love their wives as they love themselves, nourishing and cherishing them. Again, he didn’t command the love of self. He simply assumed it.

More to Come

Over the next few weeks, I want to delve into this topic. I want to explore it because I need to. I think many readers here need this as well. I want to begin by looking at God’s love for us and then examine I Corinthians 13 and how it applies to loving ourselves. That will help us get a good grasp on what we would actually do if we were to love ourselves. I hope this series lifts you up, draws you closer to God, and helps you find your worth in your relationship with God not your own personal accomplishments.

If you are willing, we’d love to hear from you on here about your own struggles or questions about this issue. That will help me know the direction to take these posts.

For right now, let me simply reiterate the message of the picture at the beginning of this post. Feel free to love yourself today.

Check out the next installment in this series here.

By the way, if you would like to check out a sermon I presented on this topic, go here.