Are we teaching this enough in our congregations?
Any questions?
When I Remember My Own Weaknesses, I Can Be Gentle with My Family
Today’s Bible reading over at giveattentiontoreading.com really hit me about how I deal with my family.
The verse that really got me was Hebrews 5:2, “He can deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness.” The Hebrew writer was talking about the Old Covenant priests who had to offer sacrifices for themselves as well as for the people. They could deal gently with others because they recognize their own weaknesses.
That hit me regarding my preaching and relationships with brethren. But it also made me think about my wife and kids. It really struck me that usually I’m most harsh with my wife and kids if they are making a mistake I have made. I think in some ways I can get really harsh because I can trick myself into thinking I’m better than I am. If I come down really hard on them about the issue that means I’m not soft on the issue with them and really I have a good handle on it. I can make myself feel better than them by really letting them have it.
Interestingly, the Bible says my own weaknesses should have the exact opposite affect. Instead of my weaknesses making me more harsh with my family, they ought to help me address my family with gentleness.
This is especially true with my children. How often I see them make my mistakes and out of the noble desire to protect them from the consequences I’ve had to face I start getting mean, harsh, controlling, and even manipulative. In my mind, it is about protecting and preserving them. That seems noble enough. One of the things I’m learning is that when I’m mean, harsh, or controlling, I usually just push my kids to keep making the same mistakes. When I approach them with gentleness, recognizing my own weaknesses, even leading with my weaknesses, that seems to help them a whole lot more.
I’m making a personal commitment today. Before I start getting on to my kids for anything, I want to first think about my own weaknesses. I want to remember that I am beset with weakness. That way, when I deal with their weaknesses, I can do so with the proper spirit.
Have a great week and remember that God’s way works with our families.
Edwin
Rite of Passage Parenting
As is often the case after I spend a week with parents I think are doing a better job than me, I have loaded up on parental encouragement in the form of books. Thank you Half Price Bookstore. I’ve come across one that I think is going to revolutionize my thinking about my job as Dad and my expectations of my children.
The book is Rite of Passage Parenting: Four Essential Experiences to Equip Your Kids for Life
- Rite of Passage
- Significant Tasks
- Logical Consequences
- Grace Deposits
I haven’t finished the book yet, but I’ve read enough to be excited about its promise and if the book falls flat in delivering good advice the mere concept has opened my eyes to a better way to work with my kids. Sometimes I think he is over the top with his satirical humor (perhaps the result of working as a youth minister–one can tend to forget that in writing a book for parents he no longer has to shoot from the hip with excessive humor). Additionally, some of his illustrations fall flat for me because of the difference in perspective on things like prom. However, I’m getting a great deal out of this book and I look forward to telling you all about it when I’m finished.
Today, I thought I would simply throw out the concept and leave you with a passage from the book to whet your appetite.
Walton’s Mountain Revisited
While I was growing up, my parents used to make us sit through (back then, it seemed more like “suffer through”) a television show called The Waltons. Each week the show reached us throug the vision and voice of John-Boy, the eldest son of John and Olivia Walton. John-Boy worked with his dad on a farm in the Blue Ridge Mountains and helped him run the sawmill.
Today, this show might be considered politically incorrect. For instance, John and Olivia actually expected John-Boy to work–planting corn, feeding livestock, and chopping wood. He and his six siblings had to do their chores in order for the family to survive. You would never hear his dad say, “You know what? We ought to let our kids be kids. They’ll grow up soon enough.”
If The Waltons had been written about our modern-day family, the show would look very different. First of all, no one would expect John-Boy to help his family. While his dad tried to keep the farm going, John-Boy would sit in his room, playing video games. His sole responsibilities would consist of making his bed and taking out the trash. He could only accomplish these tasks, of course, with tremendous whining, complaining, and snorting like a bull poised for attack.
If the contemporary John and Olivia ever dared to let John-Boy go outside, he would certainly have to be covered from head to toe in protective gear. Can you see our modern-day John-Boy coming out to chop wood? He would have a helmet–not just any old helmet, but one that had passed all the government safety ratings. He would don protective eyewear, elbow pads, and safety shoes with reinforced steel toes. His parents would make sure he had a rope tying the axe handle to his wrist. That way, if he let the ax slip, it wouldn’t go very far. It would have a safety shield covering its head so John-Boy wouldn’t accidentally cut himself. Of course, it would also come with a safety DVD so he could learn which end was sharp and how he should always keep it point away from his face. Finally, the ax would come shrink-wrapped in clear plastic–the kind that even a nuclear blast can’t break free.
I’m sure you get the idea of where this is going. I can’t wait to learn more about helping my children become adults. I’ll share with you what I learn as we’re going along.
*This post does contain affiliate links. Hey, I’m trying to help you with your parenting. Why don’t you help me with mine, click the link, buy a book, help my kids. Here’s another chance.
What Did Jesus Do?
We’ll get back to the series on loving ourselves next Monday, Lord willing. Today, I want us to ask a fundamental question about how we will live our lives. If we truly believe God’s way works, how do we discover God’s way?
A few years ago, the question “What would Jesus do?” was all the rage. It was on billboards, bracelets, and bumper stickers. Everyong was jumping on the bandwagon with it. And for good reason. It is a great question. When I’m making decisions about my actions, I need to consider what Jesus would do if he were in my shoes. Then I need to do that. After all, surely whatever Jesus would do is God’s way that will work for me. But there is a more fundamental question. Before I can actually answer that question, I need to ask another. You see, Jesus actually was here on this earth. He really did live and face the kinds of decisions I face. If I really want to know what He would do if He were in my shoes today, I need to ask, “What did Jesus do?” How did He live? How did He respond? How did He govern His life? That provides the foundation for asking what He would do in my shoes and then helps me decide what to do today.
Of course, we could start looking at each individual action, but as John 21:25 explains, the internet couldn’t contain the blog posts needed. Rather, lets consider some general governing rules Jesus lived by and made decisions by.
Jesus ONLY did what was authorized by the Father
John 8:28-29 says: “So Jesus said to them, ‘When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he, and that I do nothing on my own authority, but speak just as the Father taught me. And he who sent me is with me. He has not left me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to him.'”
John 5:30 says: “I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.”
What did Jesus do? He only did what was authorized by the Father. Understand how amazingly profound this is. If anyone throughout the history of man had the right to go out on his own and pursue his own authority, it would have been Jesus. John 1:1, 14, demonstrates that Jesus was divine himself. Yet, the incarnate God did not live from His own authority. He only did what the Father authorized. He only taught what the Father authorized. He sought the Father’s will and what was pleasing to Him.
Note clearly, Jesus didn’t say, “I only do what my Father has not prohibited.” He said He only did what the Father authorized.
If that is what Jesus did do, what then would He do if He were in our shoes today? I think He would only do what the Father authorized. What then should we do?
Jesus did what the Father told Him to
John 12:49-50 says: “For I have not spoken on my own authority, but the Father who sent me has himself given me a commandment–what to say and what to speak. And I know that his commandment is eternal life. What I say, therefore, I say as the Father has told me.”
Jesus did not act or even speak on His own authority. Rather, He only did what the Father authorized. But how did He determine what the Father authorized and therefore determine what to do and speak? He did what the Father told Him to. That seems simple enough. If the Father told Him to do something or told Him He could do something, He did it. That makes simple sense to me.
If Jesus did do what the Father told Him to, what would He do if He were walking in our shoes? He would do what the Father told Him to. What then should we do?
Jesus did what the Father established by His example
John 5:19-20 says: “So Jesus said to them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. for whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise, for the Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing.”
Jesus repeats that He does nothing based on His own authority. He doesn’t do what simply seems good to Him. He doesn’t do what He simply thinks is neat. He doesn’t do just what He likes to do. He only does what the Father authorizes. But how did He determine that? He watched the Father. He looked for good, positive, approved example. He didn’t think something was good and right just because He liked the idea. He knew it was good and right because He saw the example set for Him by the Father. If the Father exemplified something, then the Son knew He was authorized to do that, and He did it.
If that is what Jesus did do, what then would He do if He were in our shoes? He would follow the example God had left for Him. What then should we do?
Jesus did what He could infer using right judgment
John 7:24 says, “Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.”
Jesus wasn’t talking about judging souls. He was actually commenting on a matter of authority, judging whether or not an action was right or wrong, authorized or unauthorized. If we begin reading in John 7:22, we learn that Jesus is explaining why He was authorized to heal the invalid of John 5:1-17 on the Sabbath. There was no command to heal on the Sabbath. There was no example of healing on the Sabbath. Therefore, Jesus did what appeared unlawful to the Jews by healing a man on the Sabbath.
Jesus argued that if the Jews could circumcise a boy on the Sabbath to keep the law of Moses, then He could heal on the Sabbath as well. The argument really is, “If you can make a body unwhole on the Sabbath, then I can make a body whole on the Sabbath. If you can remove a part of the body, then I can restore the body.” After making His argument, He said, “Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” That is, don’t judge what is right or wrong, what is authorized or not based merely on what you like, don’t like, what you think,don’t think, rather use a right judgment. Don’t judge something right or wrong, authorized or not simply based on what you think it looks like. Rather, use sound, reasonable, logical judgment.
Jesus knew He was allowed to heal on the Sabbath despite the prohibition of work on that day because he inferred using right judgment from the commands and examples found in God’s law.
If that is what Jesus did do when He was on earth, what would He do if He were in our shoes? He would do what He could infer from God’s commands and examples using sound, reasonable, logical, right judgment. What then should we do?
Why did He do it?
But why? Why did Jesus do all this? Why did God incarnate go through all the trouble of only doing what the Father authorized by His own directions, examples, and by right judgment based on those things? John 7:16-18 says:
So Jesus answered them, “My teaching is not mine, but his who sent me. If anyone’s will is to do God’s will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority. The one who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true, and in him there is no falsehood.”
Jesus did not do this because He had to follow a pattern. Jesus did not do this because He was trying to be good enough. Jesus did not do this because He was trying to earn something. Jesus did this because He wanted to glorify the Father. He didn’t want glory for Himself. If He had wanted glory for Himself, He would have done whatever He thought was good based on His own authority.
Why do we do what we do? Are we trying to earn something or be good enough? That won’t work. Instead, we need to decide if we want to glorify God. If we want to glorify God as Jesus did, then we need to only do what the Father has authorized through His statements and examples, using right judgment to determine what we are allowed to do.
Do you want to glorify God?
The Jerusalem Church (Part 9): The Vision–Personal Sacrifice not Communism
(If you landed on this post without seeing the others in this series, let me explain what is going on here. Thursdays is my day to talk about God’s way for our congregations. Right now I’m in the middle of a series on the Jerusalem church and it’s success. This is the eighth post in the series. I encourage you to check out the introduction to this series to know more about what is going on and to find an index of the posts in this series as they are put up. Enjoy.)
Personal Sacrifice not Communism
For some strange reason, people keep trying to read modern politics into the Bible or find defense for modern political idealogies in the Bible. The fact is the Bible is not a political book. Jesus wasn’t trying to impact governments. He was trying to impact individuals. We seem to forget that Christianity was birthed under imperialism and not once did Jesus, Peter, or Paul tell Christians to do a single thing about that except pray for the governing officials (I Timothy 2:1-2).
But, because so many want to find politics in the Bible, they cherry pick passages without considering them in their real context. For instance, supporters of Communism love to bring up Acts 2:44-45.
“And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were sellign their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.”
“There it is,” we are told, “the first Christians were Communists.” That couldn’t be farther from the truth. According to Isms: A Compendium of Concepts, Doctrines, Traits and Beliefs from Ableism to Zygodactylism*
Sadly, we learn the truth of this matter from a dreadful sin committed by Ananias and Sapphira. These two conspired together to trick the congregation. They sold some land for one price, but told the congregation they had sold it for a lower price. Then they kept the difference for themselves. They were judged harshly by God for their deception.
However, notice what Peter said to them in Acts 5:3-4.
“But Peter said, ‘Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back for yourself part of the proceeds of the land? While it remained unsold, did it not remain your own? And after it was sold, was it not at your disposal?”
When people became Christians, ownership of their property did not transfer to the church. The group did not own the individuals property or take control of it. The group did not get to decide what to do with it. Had Ananias wanted to, he could have kept his land. After he sold it, he could have kept some of the profits and given only what he wanted. It was all completely under his control.
If this wasn’t Communism, what was it? It was individuals sacrificing for each other because they were part of a new group. Christians were caring for each other not because some commune became owners of their property and decided to care for its members. Christians as individuals were deciding to make personal sacrifice to give to the church that it might care for those of its number that were in need.
If we are going to have the Jerusalem vision, we are not going to envision a commune. We are not going to envision church control of our property or communal gathering of our goods. But we will envision members caring so much for each other that they sacrifice personally to care for each other. Who wouldn’t want to be part of a group that cared for each other like that?
(Make sure you come back next week as we wrap up this look at the Jerusalem Vision noticing that they were not problem free but committed to overcoming problems.)
*Yes, that is an associate link. I thought you might be interested in doing your own research on Isms sometime. Enjoy.
That’s Life: A Video Perspective
I thought this video gave some interesting perspective on life and especially family life. I’m not sure I agree with its final perspective, unless there the guy is switching to talk about spiritual life through Jesus. But the video was fun to watch so I thought I’d share.