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Something Worth Doing

Something Worth Doing, Part 12: Buy Something Worth Treasuring

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(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one.)

Today, I Want to…

Buy Something Worth Treasuring.

People want your money. That’s why advertising and marketing is a hundreds of billions of dollars business each year. We see ads online, on billboards, on t-shirts, on pens, in junk mail, with e-mail, on the radio, on television, at the movies, and on the list goes. Even the most conservative figures about the number of marketing messages we receive daily are pretty astounding. At an average rate of 245 marketing messages per day, that’s just over 1 every 4 minutes throughout a 16-hour day. Think about that. Every four minutes you are getting some message that says, “Spend your money here.” In fact, just to be painfully honest, just by scrolling down this page and reading this post, you’re getting 16 marketing messages.

The marketers want us to know that their products are the best. They spin. They light up. They flash. They save money. They make you look better than your neighbor. They make you look sexy. They cause beautiful men and women to be attracted to you. They are neat. They will balance your checkbook. They will make you lose weight. They will cause you to be the talk of all the neighbors. Spend your money on the latest whatever and all your wildest dreams will come true. (In fact, click on that book to the right and make a purchase. It will make you a better Christian. Oh wait, that makes it 17 marketing messages.)

But do we want to spend our money on just anything? Or do we long for something more fulfilling, something we can treasure, value, and hold on to indefinitely.

Obviously, you are going to spend money. Obviously you are going to spend money on some things that have no lasting sentiment or value. You have to purchase your needs. Food, clothing, personal items all have to be on your purchase list. You have to get from one place to another in our culture. Therefore, transportation is going to be on the list somewhere. Surely, getting some fun items should be on the list as well. In my opinion, every one should have an iPhone. (Does that count as a marketing message?) I’m sure you’re going to want some status symbol items. A BMW is nice or a Lexus.

However, think about every one of those things just mentioned. Do any of them have true lasting value? Clothes wear out. Food passes. Cars break down and rust. IPhones become obsolete. Status symbols lose their status. Fashions change. I’m not saying don’t buy them. I’ve bought them, well, except for the BMW or Lexus. I’m just saying if we think we’ll find something meaningful here, we are mistaken.

So many times we are absolutely certain if we were just able to buy that one particular item, everything would be okay. If we could get the house in that certain neighborhood, the flooring that would make the house just right, the widescreen, flat-panel television that would allow us to entertain our friends, the designer clothes that would let us fit in, then we would be okay. Then we would be happy. We finally save up and get it (or worse we drop it on a credit card and regret the purchase every month for years). However, after a few days, weeks, months it just no longer does the trick.

Somewhere in the midst of the spending frenzy, if we want to get fulfillment out of our money, we need to buy something worth treasuring. We need to buy things that will have a lasting value attached to them. We need to buy things that really can provide some kind of fulfillment, something we can hang on to as important.

The Most Important Treasures

Sadly, so few of us really know what to purchase like that. Too often we are stuck thinking about intrinsic material value. So we start looking to purchase an heirloom as if we can manufacture the emotion of sentiment by purchasing something expensive. It just doesn’t work like that. You might buy the most expensive diamond ring. Its cost won’t suddenly make it something to treasure.

So, how do we buy something worth treasuring?

I can’t help but think of what my wife is going through right now as I write this post. Her dad died a year and a half ago and passed on a little money to his children. Marita has been very clear. She doesn’t want this money to just enter our general fund and be frittered away paying off debt, eating out, and just buying stuff. As she has been thinking what to do with the money, she has taught me about where the true treasures are. Memories. That’s right, memories.

While I insensitively tell her this is the perfect time to purchase that new iMac or widescreen television I’ve always wanted, she wants to purchase something that will cause her to remember her dad. She doesn’t want something that will break down in a few years and be tossed in the trash. She wants something that will call to mind everything her dad means to her. I think she is on the right track.

The fact is my desire for the iMac or the TV is really the exact same problem my son had a few days ago when he had two dollars burning a hole in his pocket. We went into a gas station and he wanted everything he saw that was less than two dollars. He saw this little lollipop whistle with a goofy game at the top of it where you flip a lever and try to put a little ball through the basket. He thought it was the neatest thing. After all, it is a lollipop, a whistle, and a game all at once. That’s like buying three things with just two dollars. What could top that? I tried to explain to him, “Ryan, it’s junk. It’ll be broken before the day is over. It’s a waste.” The TV I long for is bigger and will last longer, but is my desire for it much different? Sure, it seems exciting. I think it is entertaining. It will provide some form of pleasure for a time. But in the end, both it and the lollipop game will break and end up in the same landfill. That is their destiny. There is no treasure there.

But a memory…what a treasure. A memory can be brought out again and again. It can be relived in the heart and the soul. Buying a brand spanking new BMW may make you look good. But give it a few years and its paint will fade, its status will diminish, its leather smell will dissipate. However, buy a rusted out old car that you restore with your kids? That is a treasure. Even after the car falls apart again or you sell it, the memory of your time working together still lives on. The conversations, the successes, the accidents, the feeling of accomplishment and a job well done are invaluable. I’m not saying you should never buy the BMW. I’m just pointing out that is not really a treasure.

Memories for Sale

Buy a trip. One of Marita’s fondest memories of her dad is the family trip to Disney World. I still remember the trip I took with my parents on which we went to Carlsbad Caverns, the Painted Desert, the Petrified Forest, the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, and Mt. Rushmore. I tell stories about leaving Abilene, Texas when it was over 100 degrees and getting to Yellowstone while it was snowing. We had to go into town, buy new clothes and sleeping bags just to make it in our tent. I love to laugh and tell the story about how Mom and I bundled up in layers of sweats to go to sleep even though Dad tried to convince me a real man sleeps in just his shorts no matter what. What a laugh I had the next morning when Mom told me our real man got up shortly after I went to sleep and put on some clothes. That was 25 years ago, a year before my mom died. I don’t know how much that trip cost my parents, but it is certainly a treasure for me.

Buy souvenirs. Souvenirs are great ways to store up memories. I have a shelf of mugs that were purchased on the trip I just mentioned and on others. Every time I look at that shelf, I remember those times together. After he retired from the Air Force, my dad ended up running his own heating and air business. His main supplier was Lennox. Some of my most prized possessions are the Lennox drinking glasses and mugs that we now have and the “toy” piggy banks modeled after vintage Lennox trucks. As far as piggy banks and drinking glasses go, there’s nothing special about them. But every time I see them I think of my dad. I think of putting on coveralls and crawling under a house or into an attic with him. I think of his work ethic. I think of his generosity. By the way, he died in 2000. You better believe I treasure the memories.

Buy a camera. Capture the memories. Digital cameras make everything so nice. Just take pictures and load them on to memory cards and sticks. Print them out and make scrapbooks. Label them to give reminders of exactly when and where you were. Every day I see pictures of my children when they were infants. I don’t ever want to lose those memories. I love to look at pictures with my kids on our trips. I love to see pictures of my family (well, most of them). One of the most treasured gifts I have is a small scrapbook my wife gave me for Father’s Day one year. On several pages she pasted pictures of my dad and me and then a similar picture of one of my children and me. Every once in a while I just get the book out because I need a good cry, a good laugh, a good memory.

Buy a video camera and use it. I’m not saying subject all your friends and neighbors to your memories. But they are your memories. Record them. Play them back. I treasure the video my granddad has of me as a toddler swimming with my mom. Granted, the one he has of my younger brother as an infant while I can be heard in the background singing some crazy made up song in the bathroom is not so good. But Marita treasures that one.

Buy things that remind you of the people in your life. Of course, sometimes these can be handed down to you for free. However, there may be something a friend of yours owned and you found a match for it. Buy it and let it remind you of your friend and loved one. I lived in England as a child and my parents collected Boson heads and plates. Even though Marita thinks the plates are hideous, she lets me keep one in our bedroom because of the treasure it is to me.

Buy games. Talk about memories in the making. I don’t know how many times my kids say, “Hey Dad, do you remember when we played such and such and this or that happened?” Like when Ethan likes to say, “Hey Dad, do you remember that time we played chess and I beat you in four moves?” This usually starts an avalanche of laughter and memories for the whole family. Some of our fondest memories with family and friends involve games. All I have to do around Marita and her siblings is mention Greg Louganis and “The Fish” and we are on a roll of game memories because of a great night of “Beyond Balderdash.” If you ever meet Marita’s brother, Seth, you’ll have to ask him about it. I have a picture of a completed game of “Go” on my phone in which I totally trounced Ethan after he had talked so much smack that he needed a lesson. I bring that up for a good chuckle with the kids now and then. Or then there is the time when Marita’s cousin told our friend he thought she was the worst “Farkel” player ever and she came from behind and stomped us all. (By the way, in the interest of honest disclosure, those links are affiliate links. Can you blame a guy for trying to make a little extra cash in this economy?)

It’s the Value, not the Cost

You don’t have to be rich to buy things of value. All you need is memories. Sure, some experiences may cost a bit. You won’t pull off the Disney trip cheaply. But many experiences don’t cost much. I think of the poem “Salutation” by Ezra Pound in which he mocks the rich for their pretentions and stuffiness, while highlighting the experiences the poor can enjoy.

O generation of the thoroughly smug
and thoroughly uncomfortable,
I have seen fishermen picnicking in the sun,
I have seen them with untidy families,
I have seen their smiles full of teeth
and heard ungainly laughter.
And I am happier than you are,
And they were happier than I am;
And the fish swim in the lake
and do not even own clothing.

The issue is not the cost. The issue is the value. Don’t waste your life trying to buy something that costs a lot. Make sure you buy something worth treasuring. Make sure you buy some memories.

(Come back next Wednesday as we discuss Crying Tears Worth Shedding.)

Something Worth Doing, Part 11: Hug Someone Worth Holding

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(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one.)

Today, I want to…

Hug Someone Worth Holding

What’s A Hug?

“Hugging is natural, organic, naturally sweet, free of pesticides, and preservatives. Hugging contains no artificial ingredients. It’s 100% wholesome. No calories, no caffeine, no nicotine.

“Hugging is nearly perfect. There are no removable parts, batteries to wear out, no periodic checkups. It consumes little energy, while yielding a lot. It’s inflation-proof. It’s nonfattening. There are no monthly payments. No insurance requirements. It’s theft-proof, nontaxable, nonpolluting, and fully refundable. And it costs very little.

“Hugging is healthy. It assists the body’s immune system, it cures depression, it reduces stress, it induces sleep, it invigorates, it rejuvenates, and it has no unpleasant side effects.

“Hugging is no less than a miracle drug” (borrowed from poofcat.com).

No wonder we want to hug someone worth holding today. What could be better? The problem is we’re just not used to it. In our American culture, we shake hands, making sure to keep everyone at arms length. Even in cultures that greet with hugs and kisses, they can become perfunctory and pointless. But, sincere, safe, wanted hugs are some of God’s best medicine for us.

Hugs are Good For You

Search the internet for benefits to hugging. You’ll find out hugs can decrease your heart rate. They can lower your blood pressure. Hugs can increase oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Hugs have been connected to better heart health. Hugs increase endorphin levels—the feel good hormones that give us a sense of happiness and well-being, plus they relieve pain. Hugs decrease levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

A hug can say, “I love you.” A hug can say, “I accept you.” A hug can say, “You’re wanted.” A hug can say,“You’re special.” A hug says, “We’re together.” A hug says, “We’re friends.” A hug provides a connection that nothing else does.

No doubt, different hugs say different things. There is the romantic hug for your husband or wife that lingers and caresses. There is the paternal hug for your children that turns into holding them on your lap. There is the cross-gender, I need to be appropriate, one arm around the shoulder hug. There is the quick hug that says, “We’re friends, but nothing more.” There is the “I haven’t seen you in forever” hug. There is the “I’m here for you” hug that hangs on until the one in need lets go. There’s the “weep with those who weep” hug that also provides a shoulder to cry on.

Hugs are important, life-saving even. Virginia Satir, American author and psychotherapist said, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” Look at a marriage that is falling apart and I guarantee you, you won’t see many hugs—if any. 12 hugs a day may not save a marriage on the rocks, but 0 hugs a day can sure toss it off the cliff. Look at isolated, rebellious kids and I doubt you’ll find hugging parents. (I know there are exceptions to every rule and someone will no doubt bring up the question of “which came first?”, but the fact remains, you won’t see much hugging there.) Find a prostitute, and I’m betting you find a girl who didn’t get many safe, loving hugs from her father. She’s still searching for that connection.

Why Do So Many Avoid Hugging?

But for all this, we often push away from hugs. Why?

Certainly, some have been hugged inappropriately and so physical touch scares us. Some have learned from traumatic childhood experiences that hugs are a violation and so they set up walls of protection against that happening again. My heart breaks for those of you in this situation. I pray that you can find people who can embrace you in arms of safety and help you grow in positive relationships.

For most, the trauma is not that extreme. However, a hug is still dangerous. I once heard the hug and kiss of European and Eastern greetings came about as a means of showing vulnerability. To hug someone was to come close enough as to be defenseless. If they wielded a knife, they could kill you. (I’m told the American handshake accomplished the same thing as you thrust forward your empty gun hand in a gesture of trust.) I doubt many of us are afraid of knife wielding huggers, but the hug does represent vulnerability. We are opening ourselves up to others to touch us, hold us, feel us, meet us. They can see and feel our blemishes. They can tell if we are trembling. They can feel our heart beat. Do we really want to let someone get that close? Many of us say, “No.” And we lose the great benefits of that kind of trust.

Perhaps the number one reason we fear the hug is the potential for rejection. We see a friend, hold our arms outstretched to show vulnerability, connection, trust and they give us a high five or grab the hand for a shake. Or worse, they stand there looking at us like we have our clothes on backward or have a booger hanging out of our nose. Rejection. A hug may be great, but a rejection’s negative affects seem much worse. So, we abstain from the benefits of a hug in order to avoid the pain of rejection.

Perhaps you can reshape what is happening in that moment of seeming rejection. I’m sure there are some stuck up, self-centered, pharisaical people who reject you as a person and therefore don’t want you touching them in a hug. Do you really care what that kind of person thinks of you? However, those folks are few and far between. The folks who avoid the hugs usually aren’t rejecting you. Rather, they are expressing their own struggles. Respect their need for space because an unwanted, unsafe hug doesn’t provide great benefits. Instead of pouting in your own rejection, pray for whatever causes them to turn from the hug.

Get your daily quota

Everyone needs a hug. Make sure you get permission first. Make sure your being appropriate (guys, I hope you know I’m talking to you, this isn’t your free ticket to cop a feel). Get out there and give hugs. That’s right, give hugs. I didn’t say get hugs because a true hug is about giving to others, not taking from them. So go give your quota of hugs.

They’re free. They’re fun. They’re healthy. They’re easy. Why not find someone and give them a hug right now.

I think I will.

 

(Come back next Wednesday when we discuss “Buying Something Worth Treasuring.”)

Something Worth Doing, Part 8: Go Somewhere Worth Seeing

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(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one.) 

Today, I want to…

Go Somewhere Worth Seeing

Oh, the Places You’ll Go

“Oh, the places you’ll go,” Dr. Seuss told me when I graduated high school (my parents gave me the book as a graduation present). There are lots of places to go. Sadly, I’ve been some places that weren’t worth seeing. I don’t want to dwell on those. But there are so many places worth seeing.

God’s world is filled with places to see. Some places are worth seeing because of the beauty of God’s creation—the Smoky Mountains, the Grand Canyon, the Pacific Ocean. Some places are worth seeing because of what has happened in those places—Independence Hall, Gettysburg, Jerusalem. Some places are worth seeing because of how they relate to our world today—the White House, Buckingham Palace, Ground Zero. Some places are worth seeing because of what we can learn from them—the Smithsonian, the Louvre, the British Museum. Some places are worth seeing because they show us the amazing accomplishments and abilities of man—the Pyramids, the Great Wall of China, Mount Rushmore. Some places are worth seeing because of what they stand for—the Statue of Liberty, the Washington Monument, the Vietnam Memorial.  Some places are worth seeing because they remind us how blessed we are—Zimbabwe, Nigeria, the Philippines. Some places are worth seeing because of the people we meet there—our friend’s house, our church’s meeting place, our school.  Some places are worth seeing because of how they relate to us personally—our home, our parents’ birthplaces, our great-grandparents’ graves. There are many, many places worth seeing.

Oh, the Places You Already Go

At first, I was tempted to make some point about how this may not be something we do every day. That temptation demonstrates our number one problem with going somewhere worth seeing. We rarely open our eyes to recognize the places worth seeing we already visit regularly. Don’t close your eyes to the people and places right where you are.

Surely you’ve heard the story about the acres of diamonds. A South African farmer had heard all the stories of wealth from African diamond mines and decided to sell his farm in order to raise money to go looking for diamonds, wealth, and a life of ease. He searched for years and died in poverty. The man who bought his farm however, began to wonder about the peculiar rocks he kept finding as he plowed his new fields. He had a geologist check them out only to find he was sitting on one of the biggest pockets of diamonds on the entire African continent.

That story is too often us. We think so much about going somewhere that we never realize we might be someplace worth seeing right now. That place you live is somewhere worth seeing. It is more than an edifice, a structure of brick and mortar, timber and trusses. It is a home. Love, care, compassion, togetherness all happens there. At least it will if you open your eyes to how worth seeing it is. That place you work is somewhere worth seeing. It is more than a collection of offices, more than an assembly plant, more than a construction site. Things happen there. Livelihood is accomplished there. Things are made there. Blessings are generated there to go out into our world and provide for us and others. That place you go to school is somewhere worth seeing. Learning happens there. Information is exchanged there. People who know more than you are there (even when you don’t like to admit it).

I look out my office window as I write this and see asphalt, white paint, an ugly street light. I’m tempted to just see a parking lot. However, some days I’m able to see the bushes, the hydrangeas, the Bradford pears. On occasion a flash of movement has captured my eye; I look up to see a dear run in and out of the small woods on the other side of the parking lot. Wild turkeys roam across the field at the back of this building and sometimes walk right up to the door, attacking their own reflection. How beautiful. How amazing.

My kids and I explored the wooded area at the back of the property here one day. My son nearly stepped on a snake that was demonstrating its God-given ability to camouflage. After my heart started beating again, we were able to appreciate how really beautiful that was. In the woods we found a nearly dried up spring around which someone had built a structure to make it easier to wash clothes in years ago. There was a little bit of history in our backyard. It wasn’t major history, but my kids learned something about their great-grandparents that day. 

If you want to go somewhere worth seeing, start by opening your eyes to the places you already go and how worth seeing they really are.

Oh, the Places Nearby

When I think about going somewhere worth seeing, I think about long vacation trips. I want to travel in Europe. I want to hit the historical sights for the birth of my great nation the United States of America. I want to visit Williamsburg, Virginia; Boston, Massachusetts; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I want to travel to the Grand Canyon; see the Painted Desert; swim in the clear blue waters of Hawaii.

Going somewhere worth seeing always seems like such a trip. What has amazed me since I’ve lived in Franklin, Tennessee is the number of people who thought of going somewhere worth seeing and so they traveled right here to Middle Tennessee. Would you believe that as I was typing this, someone knocked on my office door because they were looking for a church to worship with while they visited from California? They made that huge trip just to come to this area. They did that while I’m dreaming of getting out to California to visit Disneyland and see the Pacific Ocean.

My wife and I have decided to learn about places worth seeing that are a little closer to home. We have Civil War sites—the Carter House, the Carnton Plantation, the Spring Hill Battlefield. Just two and a half hours away in Chattanooga, where many in my extended family live, is the Chickamauga battlefield and an awesome aquarium. A few weeks ago my family and I took a short getaway trip to Crab Orchard Tennessee. We didn’t expect much. We only wanted a little time to ourselves away from the daily grind. But not five minutes away we found Ozone Falls. We stood atop the falls and watched the water cascade over the edge. We hiked down to what was called the plunge pool and swam at the base of the falls. I told my wife that with the possible exception of Disney World, that was the most fun I’ve ever had on a vacation. Was it worth seeing? You had better believe it. I think everyone should make the trip to Ozone Falls. Just last year, some of the men and boys from my home congregation took a camping trip. I was all excited about this trip and the canoeing we were going to do. I was shocked when I found out the campground was only 15 minutes from my house. We had a great time and I learned about a great place to take my family to get out in God’s nature.

I’m sure Middle Tennessee is not the only place in the world that is like this. If you want to go someplace worth seeing, consult a local map to see what is nearby, call your state parks and recreation department to learn of natural wonders, visit your local chamber of commerce to find out about nearby historical sites. Hey, if nothing else, go to your local library. They always have great stuff to learn about and do. You might be surprised at the groups who meet regularly at your library who can tell you all about local stuff. If all else fails you can pick up a good book that will take you someplace worth seeing.

Oh, the Places Worth Seeing All Over the World

Don’t misunderstand me. I hope you take advantage of all that you already see and all that is near you. But I don’t want to take away from all the great somewheres worth seeing the world over. I’ve been challenged by Chris Guillebeau, author of “The Art of Nonconformity,” to not be satisfied with seeing a place or two. He decided to visit every country in the world over five years. I think he’s going to make it. I’m not saying you’re only really going someplace worth seeing if you take up that great of a challenge. However, I have learned that maybe there are places worth seeing that are off the beaten trail. Maybe going in to some countries where I don’t know the language, the customs, or even the food might be a good thing for me.

Whether you want to be that much of a nonconformist or just want to see the standard places worth seeing, it is going to take some financial planning and some time management. It might take a complete change of pace for your life. Don’t just dream about going to those places, plan for it. Start saving today. Figure out the cheapest way for you to go. Don’t demand luxury all the way (unless you can afford it). Check out Chris’s travel and life tips if you really want to make a habit of going somewhere worth seeing.

Oh, the Place You’ll End Up

Of course, for me, the ultimate place worth seeing is not in this world. It is not even in this lifetime. The ultimate place worth seeing is the throne room of God in heaven. That goal reminds me that if I let myself get too caught up in going places down here on earth, I might lose track of the truly important somewhere worth seeing.

Paul said the suffering we face down here is not worth the glory that will be revealed in us and to us there (Romans 8:18). Peter said it is an inheritance that is undefiled, unfading, and imperishable (I Peter 1:4). The Bible really doesn’t say much about heaven. How can it? Our finite words cannot express the beauty, awesomeness, and grandeur of the infinite heaven. Sadly, our images of heaven are nothing more than caricatures of the real thing because they are limited by what we’ve seen on earth. But I am convinced heaven is better than earth. I want to see it. I want to experience it. I want to roll around in its fields, run through its streets, fly on its clouds. Even in those images I’m limited by own experiences or imagination based on this life.

Don’t worry, I’m not selling tickets for a bus ride to the pearly gates today. However, I have to admit I’m a little jealous of my “co-author.” Kelsey Harris, the young lady who wrote the poem that has inspired these posts, is already enjoying paradise. I look forward to seeing her again someday along with so many others. That will be somewhere worth seeing.

Remember this, you’ll be the same person in five years that you are today except for the books you read, the people you meet, and the places you go. Make sure you go somewhere worth seeing.

 

(Come back next Wednesday when we talk about Eating Something Worth Tasting.)

Something Worth Doing; Part 5: Give Something Worth Getting

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(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one.) 

Today, I want to…

Give Something Worth Getting.

The Greater Blessing

Imagine you are taking a standardized test and you are asked to choose the word that most accurately completes the following sentence:

Today, I want to ___________ something worth getting.

     A.    waste
     B.    give
     C.   hoard
     D.   receive

Let’s face it, on that test, we would have picked D not B. What a shock to find out the real answer is to give and not receive. That’s our goal today–not to receive something worth getting, not to hoard something worth keeping, but to give something worth getting.

Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” What?! How can that be? Surely it is more of a blessing to receive. I guess that depends on the heart. If we have taking, grasping, hoarding, selfish hearts, we’ll never grasp why we should want to give rather than receive something worth getting. However, if we can develop selfless, serving, sharing, generous hearts, then both Jesus’ statement and Kelsey’s make perfect sense.

The struggle, of course, if you’re like me, is there is just so much stuff out there that we want. Advertisements on television and radio abound with cool stuff. We drive by our dream cars and dream houses every day. Our friends all have cool stuff. It is just so simple to get caught up in the pursuit of stuff. Selfishness is just too easy. Our two favorite days of the year are birthday and Christmas. Why? Because we get stuff and it better be stuff worth getting. If not, we’ll return it to the store so we can select the stuff we think is worth getting.

However, this endless pursuit of stuff is…well…endless. There is not a set amount of stuff that will ever be enough. No level of getting will provide fulfillment or meaning in life. There is not some perfect gift out there that will end our desire for more. Lasting contentment, peace, serenity, joy, and satisfaction do not come from receiving. In fact, think back to your last birthday or your last Christmas. What did you get? Can you remember five things? Can you remember even one? Today, do you feel fulfilled because of the great presents you received in the past or is your materialism geared up for the next gadget, gizmo, or gift you hope to receive that will fix things?

The Great Fix

Shakespeare wrote, “To receive or to give, that is the question. To get, perchance to be satisfied. Ay, there’s the rub. For in what receiving can we ever find fulfillment.” Well, he didn’t write exactly that, but it does get to the point. Somehow we convince ourselves that all our hopes, dreams, and plans will be fulfilled in the next purchase. We convince ourselves all our fears, insecurities, and anxieties will be resolved with the right gift. Like an addict seeking the next high, we are sure if we could just get that right thing, everything will be fixed in our lives. We’ve been waiting and waiting, searching and searching, receiving and receiving, but it never happens. When the old gift wears off, we start looking for a new one.

As a teen, I was certain having a car would fix things. Now I have a car and it is the thing that most needs fixing.  I used to be certain owning my own house would provide satisfaction. Now I have a house and what I’m sure will satisfy is a house with a pool, game room, and my very own office. I was absolutely sure having an expensive, classy-looking, impressive day planner would solve my discipline issues. It did for about a week, now I’m not even sure where it is. I was convinced getting a new computer would fix my technology woes. For a month I was on cloud nine. Now, I’ve seen the newest version at the store and I’m dying to get it. On and on and on I could go. Acquiring stuff just doesn’t fix anything. Rather, it simply reminds us of the emptiness of material goods. They look shiny. They are impressive. But really they are hollow. Many people are depressed because they didn’t get what they wanted today. However, many are depressed because they did and it hasn’t helped at all. No wonder Jesus also said our lives are not made up of our possessions.

What then are our lives made of? What does provide meaning? Relationships. How do relationships grow? Through giving. Yes, sometimes through giving gifts, but usually through giving ourselves. Give time. Give a listening ear. Give a shoulder to cry on. Give help. Give effort. Give understanding. Give vulnerability. Give support. Give intimacy. Give yourself. As you release your grasp on all the stuff you want and start giving of yourself to others, watch your peace and serenity grow. Feel fulfillment increase. See meaning in your life swell.

The Golden Rule

Jesus also said we should treat others the way we want to be treated. That is the heart of giving something worth getting. Instead of demanding that others treat us the way we want to be treated, instead of demanding that others sacrifice for us, we must treat them the way we want to be treated, we must sacrifice for them. When we are focused on giving rather than receiving, we are focused on others.

However, we go even a step further. We are not just giving. We are giving something worth getting. This is no half-hearted attempt to give. This is not giving as an afterthought. This is not giving as manipulation. This is sacrificial love. When we give something worth getting, the recipient will know it would have been worth keeping. Yet, instead of keeping it, we gave it to them.

Here is a great place to start. Pick someone with whom you are having a real problem, someone who just rubs you the wrong way, someone with whom you have bitter resentments. Take the prayer challenge for them. For the next month, at least once per day, pray that God will grant that person the blessings you want and need in your life. At the end of the month, see how your perspective toward that person has changed. Then you can take another step. Don’t just pray about it, start being an answer to your prayer and give blessing to that person. Now, if you think that will positively impact your relationship with someone who is an enemy, imagine what it will do when that is how you treat your friends as well.

Today, I don’t want to focus on receiving. I want to focus on giving. I don’t want to give just anything. Half measures avail nothing. I want to give something worth getting. 

 

(Come back next Wednesday as we learn about Choosing Something Worth Keeping.)

Something Worth Doing, Part 3: Read Something Worth Sharing

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(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first in the series and follow the links.)

Today, I want to…

Read Something Worth Sharing

A wise man said, “Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh.” There are just a lot of things to read out there. Over 170,000 books are published each year. Over 10,000 magazines are published each year. These statistics are just for the U.S. There are newspapers for every major city. Blogs have gone wild. My Google Reader inbox is insane. I can’t keep my e-mail empty.

There is simply too much to read.

However, you don’t need to read everything. Just because something has been written, doesn’t mean it is worth sharing. Just because something makes its way onto Amazon.com or into Barnes and Noble, doesn’t mean you need to waste any time on it. You want to read things worth sharing.

You want to read things that so impact your life, you can’t help but pass them on to people. This can run the gambit of genres. You can read business books, self-help books, science fiction, mysteries, cooking magazines, and on the list goes. Some things are worth sharing for their entertainment value. There really is some benefit in the temporary escape offered through books. Some things are worth sharing because of their informative value. If it can help you be a better blogger, then it will help you with your first goal of writing things worth reading, won’t it? Some things are worth sharing for their educational value. We all have to learn sometimes. Some things are worth sharing for their inspirational value. None of us are just a perpetual bundle of self-motivation. We can always use help. Some things are worth sharing for their spiritual value. We need connection to God regularly to survive being stuck on this planet.

There are really three main things you have to do if you are going to read something worth sharing.

1. Read.

2. Read humbly.

3. Quit reading things not worth sharing.

1. Read.

I know. This seems just too obvious to state. However, did you notice that “read something worth sharing” started with “read something”? You can’t possibly read something worth sharing if you don’t read. This is the number one killer on this goal. Most folks just don’t want to read. I know you are already working on this, because you are reading right now. I hope what you are reading is worth sharing.

Either way, if you want to continue this goal. You are going to have to keep reading. Don’t stop with this post. In reality, with all the junk out there to read, if you want to read something worth sharing, you are going to have to read a lot.

Don’t whine, “But I don’t like to read.” Maybe you just aren’t blessed with a natural desire to read. Maybe you never developed that habit. However, the problem more likely is you’ve not read much worth sharing. Or, you’ve probably only been forced to read what others thought was worth sharing and you just didn’t get into it. That’s fine. We won’t all see the same things as worth sharing. However, don’t stop reading. Keep on reading. Make it a daily goal to read something. This is the absolute first step.

Of course, I can’t get past this point without giving you an easy leg up on accomplishing this. I believe a great place to start is read your Bible. Read it every day. In my experience, there is something life-changing and share-worthy on every page. Every day I read, I find something worth sharing. You can find my shares at giveattentiontoreading.com. I hope you find them worthy of sharing.

2. Read humbly.

I once heard the story of a young man seeking a Zen master. He approached him and said, “Master, I want you to teach me.” He then listed all the things he had studied, learned, and mastered. In his mind, how could any teacher not want such an accomplished and well-developed student? The Zen master said, “I want to show you something. Do you promise to do exactly what I tell you?” “Yes, Master,” the would-be disciple replied, still trying to impress.

The master instructed the young man to pour tea into a cup and not stop until told to do so. The cup filled quickly. The young man kept pouring. The tea sloshed into the saucer. The young man kept pouring. It splashed onto the table. The young man kept pouring. It streamed onto the floor. The young man kept pouring. Finally, the kettle was empty and the young man said, “Now there is just a big mess. This was pointless.” The master said, “You are like the cup of tea. You are so full of your own knowledge, any attempt on my part to pour more knowledge in to you would be pointless and only cause a mess.”

Some could go even to the Bible and not read things worth sharing. They are too full of themselves to see what is worth sharing. You will only ever read things worth sharing when you read with humility. Set aside what you think you know and listen for a while. You might be surprised at what you read that is worth sharing.

Don’t misunderstand. Before sharing, you need to think critically. You need to reason and determine if what was written is worth sharing. However, if you read with a closed and prejudiced mind you’ll never read anything worth sharing. If you read only to see if people already agree with you, you’ll never read anything worth sharing.

The fact is, for me, the things I have found most worth sharing are those that have broadened my perspective, changed my mind, enlightened my soul. Very rarely were the things I have found most worth sharing merely things that just reaffirmed what I already thought. To be honest, if it is what I already think, I don’t want to read something worth sharing about it, I want to write something worth reading about it.

3. Quit reading things that are not worth sharing.

I have a terrible quirk. Once I start reading something, I feel like I have to finish it otherwise I have failed. I have slogged through some of the worst stuff just to say I finished something. I have to get over that. Let’s face it, even the humblest people find some things that simply aren’t worth sharing. The majority of the magazines at your gas station check out stand top that list.

Your goal is to read something worth sharing. If you begin to realize what you are reading now isn’t, put it down and move on to something else. Of course, the real problem is you sometimes like to read those guilty pleasures. There are some things not worth sharing because they shouldn’t be read at all, but they give you a little thrill. Get over that thrill. It is not worth the long term negative impact they have. They fill your mind with gossip, slander, immorality, discouragement, pointless arguing. If your mind is filled with that junk, so will your life. In fact, you begin to learn that you are sharing what you are reading whether it is worth sharing or not. As many have said, the only differences between you now and you this time last year are the people you’ve met and the books you’ve read. Don’t waste your time with what is not worth sharing no matter what kind of inner thrill it gives you. You don’t need to share that stuff; don’t share in it.

Like I said earlier there is just too much out there to read. Since you are going to have to read a lot to read something really worth sharing, put it down when you realize it isn’t worth sharing. Move on without regret. Oh, I’m sure an argument can be made that if we are humble enough, a nugget of gold can be found in even the most worthless readings. True. Yet, most miners realize the cost of digging is not worth just one little nugget. Reading has an opportunity cost. If it is not paying off, don’t keep hoping to find some little nugget. Move on to something else that has an entire golden vein.

Finally, if you read something worth sharing, do us all a favor. Share.

(Come back next Wednesday to learn about Saying Something Worth Repeating.)

Something Worth Doing, Part 2: Write Something Worth Reading

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(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in this series and follow the links.)

Today, I want to…

write something worth reading.

Despair.com has an interesting take on all the writing going on these days. Their “Blogging” lithograph says it succinctly: “Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.” Let’s break out of this cynical mode. Let’s write something worth reading.

Don’t write something to make you popular. Don’t write something to make you millions. Don’t write something to make you look good. Write something worth reading. If you do, some of those other things may happen; then again they may not. If you write to pursue popularity, prosperity, or prestige, you will never be anything more than a hack, chasing the whims of the fickle masses. Your writing will leave you empty, unfulfilled, meaningless, and used.

However, if you dig down inside your own heart, mining the gold God has given you through your own background, passions, study, experiences, and write something worth reading, you’ll find fulfillment, meaning, and usefulness in your writing. Whether many or few like your writing won’t matter. Whether people flock to your writing, tossing money in your direction won’t matter. Whether critics pan you or heap accolades upon you won’t matter. You will have connected with something deeper.

So much of today’s writing is nothing more than the pursuit of our own exhibitionist and voyeuristic desires. We want to exhibit ourselves and we want to pursue the secret lives of those around us. Why else do you think blogging has become the new medium for all writing? So few people care if what they write is worth reading, if it adds to the great conversation, if it lifts up. So many have little opinions about so much and think everyone should learn them no matter what. Too many think having a pulse and a computer makes them an expert on politics, religion, life.

It is too easy to write without thought. We text, we Twitter, we Facebook, we MySpace, we blog, we e-mail, we comment. The question is do we think? Or do we just react? Are we writing something worth reading?

5 Keys to Write Something Worth Reading

1. Keep it simple

Don’t get caught up in author arrogance. Don’t think anything worth reading is worth being really long. Don’t think you have to be some profound philosopher, writing the next manifesto of world change.

We all dream of being authors. However, writing something worth reading doesn’t mean having a best-selling book. Today, you can write something worth reading by sending someone an encouraging card. You can write something worth reading by sending a thank you note. You can write something worth reading by blogging about what you learned from your children. You can write something worth reading by sending a letter to your parents. You can write something worth reading by texting some encouragement.

However, if you are writing a book or a world-changing blog, you still need to follow this principle. Keep it simple. We don’t need to know how erudite you are. If you’re smart, we’ll figure it out as you connect with us simply.

2. Keep it true

By true, I don’t mean simply factual. Fiction can be worth reading. “Lord of the Rings” and “Pride and Prejudice” come to mind. Rather, I mean true, sound, right. I mean write something that rings with truth, connects to truth, promotes truth.

Obviously, don’t spread lies and rumors even if you’re writing about the Presidential candidate you think will ruin the country. Perhaps I should include that you should only forward things worth reading too.

More than that, write something to connect your readers to truth. After all, truth will set you free. Certainly, in the original biblical context of that statement it speaks of spiritual salvation. At the same time, that statement applies across the board. Passing on lies and error will only cripple your readers, limiting them. Truth will set them free.

Remember, what is true is anchored in God. He created the universe. He created us. Disparaging that may salve your conscience for your life, but it will not set anyone free. Whether you are writing in the scientific realm, the spiritual realm, the emotional realm, or whatever realm of life you wish, anchor your writing back to God’s truth. Do this without fear. Remember, we aren’t writing to be popular. The teeming masses will reject what is true. But at least what you wrote will be worth reading, whether the masses want to read it or not.

3. Keep it genuine

God gave you your abilities, strengths, background, experiences, emotions. He did not give you someone else’s. Don’t try to be someone else when you write. Certainly, as our next installment explains we also want to read something worth sharing. When we do, we may want to share something worth reading. That’s okay. However, simply quoting someone else is not writing something worth reading. If we are going to write something worth reading, we need to write from ourselves.

I was tempted to say, “Keep it original.” However, there is nothing new under the sun. What is inside you is there because of the people you’ve met, the books you’ve read, the experiences you’ve had. The fact is, even what is genuine with you is not original in the truest sense. But that is okay. Since what is true comes from God, you don’t want to be truly original anyway.

So, quit shooting for true originality and instead be genuine. What have you learned? What have you experienced? What are you passionate about? What are you dying to share? Latch on to that and write it.

Write it your way. Certainly, learning the craft of writing is necessary. Writing it your way doesn’t mean ignore rules of spelling and grammar. Yet, be real. Be you.

4. Make it a gift

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver” (Proverbs 25:11). Our words should “give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29). Even if you have to rebuke, refute, or correct someone when you write, your words should be as a gift.

Be careful here. The point is not to think your writing is God’s gift to mankind. He’s already given that gift and you weren’t chosen to write it. What I mean is as you consider what you will write, do so in a way your audience will feel it has received a real gift. Write something that will build them up, strengthen them, encourage them. Write something that is about your reader, not about you. When you have to correct, do so with gentleness and empathy, not arrogance.

Granted, not everyone will recognize what you say as a gift. However, you need to constantly check your motivation before you write. Are you trying to put someone in their place or lift them up on a pedestal? Are you trying to shut someone down or build them up? Are you trying to exalt yourself or someone else? If you are merely trying to feed your own ego, it won’t be worth reading. No matter how wrong the recipient is, if you’re just trying to prove you’re better, it won’t be worth reading.

5. Make it clear

Writing just anything is easy. Writing something worth reading takes work. The modern computer medium often promotes rambling. You circle and circle and circle and ramble and ramble and ramble. You wrote a lot. You may have even written something good. However, anything worth reading is lost in the midst of stream of consciousness gobbledy-gook.

Please, please, please, do not say, “But I just want to write from the heart.” Do not blame your heart for bad, unclear writing. Think before you write. Consider the purpose for which you are writing and stay on task. Outline what you will write, even if only in your mind. Take what is on your heart and run it through your brain before you type it on the page.

In most mediums, this means use acceptable grammar, syntax, and spelling. Don’t be lazy in your writing. I know most people writing today are. I know most people don’t seem to care. But most people aren’t writing something worth reading. You are. Granted, as much as it pains me, you might still be clear if you text someone writing, “u r 2 awesome.” However, don’t let text messaging syntax become your normal writing pattern.

If you really want to write something worth reading, you might even want to read some books worth sharing on writing and grammar. Do whatever it takes to keep it clear.

Something Worth Reading

You don’t have to write something every day. However, if you plan on writing today, press the pause button. Check your motivation. Check your truthfulness. Check your clarity. Check your purpose. Are you just adding to the noise or is it really worth reading? 

 

(Come back next Wednesday to learn about Reading Something Worth Sharing.)