Christian living

God Doesn’t Care About Our Politics

March 29, 2010 by Edwin Crozier 18 Comments

voting by Vaguely Artistic I’m really bothered by all the political banter I’m hearing among Christians, especially since last week’s vote about healthcare. Now don’t misunderstand me. I have political opinions. I’m happy for others to have them, even if they disagree with me. I’m not one of these guys who thinks just because someone expresses a political opinion they must not be properly centered spiritually. What bothers me, however, is how many Christians and religious people are beginning to accept the lead of the religious right that says one of the church’s main goals is to get to Washington and enact “Christian legislation.” I’m very bothered by the number of Christians that seem to think their political opinions are bible opinions and judge those who disagree as not quite as spiritual as they are.

Let me share with you some principles that help me keep my balance about politics and my relationship with God. I know this is not the normal position for today’s Christian. I simply ask that you give me a fair hearing before you start judging me as having lost my mind.

God never asked for a Christian nation.

Christians everywhere are upset because President Obama told somebody America is not a Christian nation. I don’t know what he meant by it and I don’t know what you mean by it, all I know is God never asked for Christian nations. So why get stressed about it?

In Hebrews 12:26-29, the Hebrew writer claims God was going to shake out the Old Covenant kingdom so we could receive a kingdom that cannot be shaken. Why would we want to stress having another kingdom that can be shaken out of the way (and eventually will, no matter how much we love our country) when God is giving us a kingdom that can’t be shaken? Is God’s kingdom so trivial to us that we have to boost it with our earthly kingdom as well?

In John 18:36, Jesus said His kingdom is not of this world. Why then do we get bent out of shape when we learn that a kingdom of this world is not Christ’s kingdom? Jesus said if His kingdom were of this world, His disciples would stand up and fight by earthly means. But they weren’t fighting because that wasn’t what His kingdom was about. Yet today, His disciples are completely caught up in an earthly fight through political means to somehow preserve a Christian Nation that God didn’t establish.

God has His kingdom. According to I Peter 2:9, we are part of that kingdom because we are in Christ, not because we are in America. The fact is there are Russians that are part of God’s nation, there are Mexicans, Canadians, French, South African, Nigerian, Italian, British, and all other nationalities of people in Christ’s kingdom and it has nothing to do with their national citizenship. I love America. My Dad’s life was devoted to defending America. My brother is devoting his life to the same cause. I have good friends who have done the same. I’m proud of their patriotism and their sacrifice to defend our nation. But I have to keep very clear that defending America is not the same as defending Christ’s holy nation.

God worked through an earthly nation during His old covenant, but He has moved on from that now. He has a spiritual kingdom. If He wanted a Christian nation, He could have revealed through the apostles how to get Rome to be His nation, but He didn’t. Why are we getting all bent out of shape about that now? What passage would we go to to tell us how to establish the Christian nation God supposedly wants?

God has never asked us to spread His gospel through political means.

In 2 Corinthians 10:3-6, Paul makes it clear that we don’t use earthly, fleshly means to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. They weren’t under a democracy. They wouldn’t vote. They would take up arms and revolt. But Paul said that wasn’t what they were about. They weren’t concerned with overthrowing the Roman government in order to make it a Christian one. They didn’t go to Caesar and try to get him to pass Christian friendly laws. Why on earth would we think our job is to spread the gospel through political means?

In Matthew 28:18-19, Jesus didn’t say go make Christian nations. He said to make Christians within every nation. In Mark 16:15-16, Jesus didn’t say to go and turn every nation into a democracy. He didn’t say, go and make sure all the nations have Christian laws. He said go and make disciples all over the world. In Romans 10:15, Paul didn’t write how beautiful are the feet of those with certain political opinions or who vote for certain laws. He said the feet of those who preach the gospel are beautiful. In II Timothy 2:2, when Paul was concerned with Timothy leaving behind a legacy for Christ and preparing the way for another generation of Christians, he didn’t tell Timothy to go to Rome and appeal to Caesar for better laws. He told Timothy to teach faithful men who would in their turn teach other faithful men to teach.

Somehow, we’ve bought into the distraction of the religious right that getting a law against abortion or homosexuality ratified in our Constitution will actually be some kind of major victory for Christ. Bologna. Let’s face it, not one single person has been saved because of anyone’s vote for any candidate or for any law. The victory that Christ wants is not to outlaw abortion or homosexuality. The victory Christ wants is for us to carry the message of His saving death to new people whose lives will be changed so they won’t have abortions or commit homosexuality anymore no matter what the national law is. If righteousness could come by a law, then the Old Covenant law of Israel would have done it. Why do we think if we get American law to correspond with the New Testament teaching that it will produce righteousness among Americans? Only the message of faith in Jesus is going to accomplish that and Jesus doesn’t need a national law to back Him up for it to work.

We need to remember that immorality and idolatry were rampant in the days of the New Testament, but God didn’t once ask anyone to try to get the emperor to pass any laws against all that. He simply asked His children to spread His soul saving gospel.

The Constitution is not the Bible, Part 2

I love the Constitution. I think it is one of the greatest political documents of all time. I have strong feelings about how it should be read and interpreted. I have many concerns that it is not being interpreted properly by our government today. I am concerned about what that means for our nation’s future. However, those are political opinions, not spiritual ones. I have to remember that the Constitution is not divine or divinely inspired. We don’t have the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the Constitution Testament.

I can get into all kinds of arguments about defending the Constitution, but that is not the same as defending God’s word or God’s will. The fact is, the Bible never says anything about how to read the Constitution. It never even says anything about whether or not the Constitution is the right way to govern a nation. The Bible never says anything about whether or not a nation even needs a Constitution like ours. It just isn’t there. Yet, Christians nationwide act like they are defending the Bible when they defend their interpretation of the Constitution.

I’ve heard people claim that we need to protect our “God-given rights.” We have these rights by the providence of God because Romans 13:1 says the government is established by God. That is not an accurate view of that verse or our American rights. Our rights to free speech, practice religion as we want, assemble, bear arms, speedy trial by a jury of our peers, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are not God-given rights. Please, if you are convinced that they are, find the passage in Scripture that claims we have any of those rights? These are government-given rights. I’m very happy to live in a nation whose government claims we have these rights and I will gladly stand up to fight for these rights. But, again, that is a political opinion, not a spiritual one. It is not a Bible opinion.

Romans 13:1 isn’t talking about democracies. It isn’t talking about American government. It is talking about all governments. It is talking about Nero’s government, Hitler’s government, Stalin’s governments. The point behind Romans 13:1 is not that what a government established by God does is the right thing to do and we as Christians must defend it like it is the same as the Bible. Rather, it simply means we must submit to our governing authorities (unless, of course, they ask us to disobey God; Acts 5:29).

When I’m defending my opinions about the Constitution, I’m not defending God’s will. When I’m defending America, I’m not defending Christ’s nation. The Constitution is not the Bible, part 2, and I must not trivialize God’s real word by trying to somehow equate a document of men with it.

God only expressed one political opinion.

There are a bajillion political issues out there. We can argue about taxes, healthcare, marriage, abortion, immigration, the environment, defense, homeland security, our President’s birthplace and on and on and on the list goes. To my knowledge, God did not express a political opinion on any one of these issues. We need to realize that all of these issues were present in the Roman world. They dealt with taxes. They dealt with defense and security. Abortion was going on. They even killed children after they were born. Homosexuality was commonplace. Idolatry was rampant. But God never once said anything political about any of these things.

1 Timothy 2:2 is the only political opinion expressed in the New Testament that I know of. Paul didn’t tell the Christians to get up in political arms about the bad laws governing the Roman empire. All he asked was for the Christians to pray that their government would allow them to lead peaceful, quiet, godly lives. We should still be asking for that. Right now, God is granting that request. We are allowed to lead peaceful, quiet, godly lives. I know some people pitch a fit about it. I know some people don’t like it. But right now, we are allowed to serve God as we wish, practice obedience as we wish, assemble as we wish. Nobody has stopped that. Maybe they will one day, but they aren’t stopping it right now. Maybe instead of complaining like we don’t have these freedoms, we should spend more time thanking God that we do have these freedoms and asking Him to continue them. Then maybe we can go talk to our neighbors about God’s saving Gospel and it might change their lives so they don’t practice homosexuality or get an abortion.

God expects His children to unite around principles greater than politics.

I love being in a democracy, but I’m increasingly convinced it may not be the best situation for Christians. Why? Because democracy came on the scene and Christians have been dividing over politics ever since. Maybe it was better when there was no vote under the Roman Empire and Christians just accepted what they were given and did the best they could to live godly lives in the situation they were given.

I’m often astounded by the conglomeration of people Jesus pooled together to form His group of apostles. I’m most astounded by the coming together of Matthew the tax collector and Simon the Zealot. I wonder what kind of political discussions they had around the fire at night. A tax collector was a Roman sympathizer, not only did he not have a problem with Roman occupation, he used it to make money. A Zealot hated Roman occupation and tried any means to get them out, even insurrection at times. These two were complete polar opposites politically. But there is no indication they had to change their politics to serve Jesus. Matthew didn’t have to become a Zealot to be among the 12 and Simon didn’t have to become a Roman sympathizer. Jesus expected them to unite around something greater than politics.

Satan will use anything he can to get us to divide among ourselves. Politics seems to be the big thing right now. I’ve even heard of some Christians defriending each other on Facebook over the political opinions surrounding the healthcare vote. How sad is that?

Jesus did not die to form the Republican party. Jesus did not die to form the Democrat party. Jesus didn’t even die to start democracies. We do need to remember that neither Jesus nor any of the apostles were believers in democracy. There wasn’t democracy in their day. We need to understand that someone can have completely different political opinions from us and still be a good Christian, just like the apostles were.

Jesus did not die to make sure healthcare was privatized or nationalized. In fact, I’m guessing Jesus doesn’t care how we get healthcare. Jesus died so our souls could be cared for eternally. He expects us to unite around the eternal principles of salvation in Him and not divide around temporal political concerns about nations.

Here is what I try to remember. If I really want to do something good in God’s eyes for my nation, instead of worrying about everyone else’s political opinions, I need to talk to someone about Jesus. He didn’t die to make Christian nations. He died to make Christians in every nation. If I’m going to keep my proper spiritual perspective, I’ve got to understand that political opinions are just that. They are political opinions. I’m allowed to have them. You are allowed to have them. If we disagree, we can discuss them. But we must not let them divide us. We must not think a political discussion is a biblical discussion. God never intended that.

Let’s remember that the most important thing that happened last Sunday was not the vote on healthcare. The most important thing is the gospel was preached to millions. The death of Jesus was remembered by multitudes. Some were added to the Lord through baptism into Christ. What happened in Washington was neither a victory or a defeat for Jesus or His people. Rather, Jesus was once again victorious in a multitude of ways because His people gathered and proclaimed Him as He asked. We’ll continue doing that no matter what happens in Washington.

Please, remember, God’s way works and God’s ways are not political.

(If you are interested in reading or listening to the sermon I presented on these same issues, please go here.)

Coping with Change

March 22, 2010 by Edwin Crozier 1 Comment

Sorry I missed last week. We had a lot going on, mostly stressful.

We were out of town over the last weekend. We came home to a house with a busted water heater that had to be repaired. On Wednesday, Marita’s Maw-maw died. On Friday, we held her funeral. On Sunday, I announced to people that I love dearly that we believe it is time for us to move to a new congregation. On June 20 of this year, I’ll start working with the Brownsburg Church of Christ in Brownsburg, Indiana. I’ll say again here as I have in so many places, I have many mixed emotions. I have a great deal of sadness about being separated from so many good friends who I love so much. I also have a great deal of excitement about new possibilities with a new group of people.

What does all of this mean?

First, it means the next three months are going to be a very stress filled time for my family and me. I’ll try to keep up the blog regularly, but this may mean I miss some days as I devote time to getting my house ready. Be patient with me.

Second, it means change. I fear change. I like status quo. With status quo, there is no second-guessing. Except, there is. There is always the second guess that change might have been good. How do we cope with change, whether it was a personal decision to change or a change thrust upon us by others or by circumstances?

Perhaps this won’t shock anyone, but I am learning to rely on the message of Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Too many of us sit in paralyzed fear wondering if the proposed change is God’s secret will for our lives. What I am learning is my job today is to love God. That means, whatever choice I make needs to be in accord with God revealed Word. That’s simply because I need to serve God. When I live by the principle to simply to do the next right thing because I love God, He’ll work together whatever I do and whatever anyone else does and whatever happens in the world to help me be glorified. I may not see how what is happening today will allow for that. I may be terribly sad, awfully angry, even cruelly hurt today. However, sometime down the road, I’ll be able to see that all of this worked together for good. Maybe I won’t even be able to see it until I stand in eternity. However, I will be able to look back and see it.

We often say, “Hindsight is 20/20.” Romans 8:28 is asking us to live with that hindsight right now. It is asking us not to wait until years down the road to realize whatever is going on today will actually work out for my good in the end. It is asking me to trust God and learn that whatever change is taking place today will be used by God to lead to my glorification in Jesus Christ.

That’s how I am learning to cope with change. I’m sure I’ll need you to remind me of that sometimes. I don’t always keep that in my head properly. Today, I’m remembering it.

Have a great week and remember that God’s way works.

The Jerusalem Church (Part 2): What Didn’t Make It Work–Miraculous Gifts

February 18, 2010 by Edwin Crozier 1 Comment

(If you landed on this post without seeing the others in this series, let me explain what is going on here. Thursdays is my day to talk about God’s way for our congregations. Right now I’m in the middle of a series on the Jerusalem church and it’s success. This is the second post in the series. I encourage you to check out the introduction to this series to know more about what is going on and to find an index of the posts in this series as they are put up. Enjoy.)

If you’re like me, you can find all the ideas and concepts in the world that won’t work. You can pinpoint exactly why every idea has a flaw. You can examine the failings of every concept and plan. You can know exactly why what worked for others won’t work for you. I can do that with the Jerusalem church. I can sabotage every good thing I can learn from the Jerusalem church by starting to look at all the reasons it won’t work for me or for the congregation of which I’m a part.

Therefore, I want to start by getting rid of those objections. I’ve examined the reasons I think it may have worked for them that we may not be able to emulate and learned that they are empty excuses.

Jerusalem Did Not Grow Because of Miraculous Gifts

The easiest flag to wave to claim we just can’t mirror what Jerusalem did is to point to the miraculous gifts. After all, the whole church got started because the apostles were speaking in tongues (Acts 2:4). People listened because they were amazed at the miracles. As the church grew, people were in awe of the apostles and their miraculous abilities (Acts 5:12-13). Even when Philip scattered and went to Samaria, the sorcerer and the people were convinced because they were amazed by the “signs and great miracles” (Acts 8:13).

God doesn’t work that way through His people anymore. (If you are reading and disagree with this point, let me know. I would love to study the issue with you.) We won’t speak in tongues. We won’t heal the sick. We won’t divine or divulge anyone’s inner secrets. We won’t raise anyone from the dead. If we could do all of that, then maybe we could be like Jerusalem. But we can’t. So why bother even trying?

We need to understand that the church did not grow because of miraculous gifts. That is, not in such a way that makes growth impossible for those who don’t have those gifts.

First, we need to remember the account of Lazarus and the Rich Man in Luke 16:19-31. The rich man was convinced, like so many of us, that miracles were the key to save people. If his brothers saw someone rise from the dead, they would believe. But Abraham’s answer was clear, “If they do not hear Moses and the Prophets, neither will they be convinced if someone should rise from the dead.” Interestingly, we get so caught up into thinking that if people saw miracles they would believe, that we forget that Jesus rose from the dead yet most of the Jews figured out reasons why not to believe. Do we really think that if we could perform miracles we would convince everyone? Of course not. God has provided the scriptures. If people will not believe the Bible, they will not believe even if they see a miracle.

Second, I think we attribute the growth in Jerusalem to the wrong thing. We attribute it to the miracles. Instead, let’s attribute it to the right place. Let’s attribute it to the working of the Holy Spirit. The Jerusalem church grew because people witnessed the work of the Holy Spirit. While they may no longer witness the miraculous work of the Holy Spirit, they can still witness the work of the Holy Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” This passage is not saying these are the characteristics we need to work on. It is actually saying that when we are walking by the Spirit, these are the characteristics we’ll start developing.

People may no longer see tongue-speaking, sick-healing, dead-raising, poison-protecting, miraculous works of the Holy Spirit in us. However, when we are walking by the Spirit, folks will witness what may to them seem no less miraculous. They will witness selfish people become loving. They will witness miserable people develop joy. They will witness impetuous manipulators become patient. They will witness the cruel and mean-spirited become kind. They will witness the untrusting and untrustworthy become faith-filled and faithful.

They may not hear the rushing sound of a mighty wind, but they will be no less impacted as they see the silent working of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Not everyone will be piqued. Not everyone was attracted by the tongue-speaking. But some will. Some will see how the Spirit has worked in our lives and they will want part of it as well.

We must not think Jerusalem’s success is beyond us simply because the Holy Spirit no longer grants His miraculous gifts. Instead, we must recognize that the Holy Spirit is still working in us and He will attract people to us as He changes our lives and we bear fruit.

Please understand a happy by-product of this recognition. We are not left alone to make Christ’s church grow. His Spirit is working in us and through us. We can have success like Jerusalem because we are not alone.

(Make sure you come back next week as we expose and dispose of more excuses about growing like Jerusalem.)

Give Christians Room to Grow

January 14, 2010 by Edwin Crozier 2 Comments

One of the big problems I’ve had in the church setting is letting people grow. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I love to see people grow. I love to see them get stronger. I love to see them develop more faith. I love to see them learn new things. My problem is letting them be where they are before they do all that growing.

2 Peter 1:5-8 says we must all increase and add faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, and love. Here is what that necessarily means. Right now we lack some faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, and love. If others are to grow in these areas, that means right now they lack in some of them too. That doesn’t make them bad. That doesn’t make them rebellious. That doesn’t make them someone who needs to be disciplined. We’re all on a spectrum. Some are farther along than me. Some are not as far along as me. I don’t want those farther along than me trying to control me and force me to be where they are. I want them to understand that I’m growing, be patient with me, and simply encourage me. Shouldn’t I do the same with others?

My problem is when I see someone who I think is less mature in some aspect of knowledge, virtue, or faith, I want to rush in grab control of their life and force them to be on the same page as me. Sadly, what happens most of the time is I polarize them away from where I am. I often push them into rebellion as they want to assert their right to be where they are right now. So, not only do I not help them grow, I actually stop their growing.

Why do I do this? Because I equate disagreeing with me or doing something different from me to mean that the other person doesn’t really want to serve God and I need to force them to do so. That just doesn’t work. However, when I’m able to recognize that we are all growing, that other people who are at different places than I am love God and they are growing, I’m often amazed at how much they do actually grow. I’m also amazed at how often we end up on the same page eventually.

Here is the hard part. This means I have to give others permission to disagree with me. I have to give others permission to make different choices from me. This means I have to give others permission to think and feel differently than I do about some things. This means I have to give others permission to be wrong sometimes. Or at least I think they’re wrong. Sometimes I was the one that needed to grow and came to believe I had been wrong.

The other reason this is hard is because I’m so afraid others might make me look bad. If folks found out someone who believed “that” or did “this” was in my congregation, they might think I’m somehow bad. It’s like when my children do something wrong. I take their wrong on to myself as if I was the one who did it. I’m not. I’m simply the guy who helps them grow and teaches them when they do wrong. Jesus was able to look at folks in Thyatira and Smyrna (Revelation 2:18-3:6) and not hold against them the sins of others. That’s what I need to hang on to.

I certainly do not believe a congregation can simply allow someone to live in divisive rebellion against God’s will. After all, God did tell the church in Thyatira to quit tolerating Jezebel. However, I also think I am too quick to label some as rebellious simply because they don’t think about every little detail the way I do. It is amazing how I can catastrophize even the smallest of disagreements. It reminds me of the time my dad found I had taken some caffeine pills and in fear had plotted out my life of alcohol, drugs, and crime that was the sure conclusion of having done that. Fortunately, those caffeine pills haven’t led me down that path. Not yet anyway. I remember being so mad at him. I remember wanting to take some more of those pills just to prove him wrong. I remember thinking I would never treat my kids like that. And yet, I do it to brethren all the time (I probably do it to my kids too). I can easily take the smallest disagreement and be sure it means someone doesn’t care about God, won’t obey Him, and is on a path for hell that will lead numerous others with her. Then again, she may simply be on a path of growth and this is where she needs to work. I need to let her develop on God’s time table, not mine. I need to share with her my experience, strength, and hope, encouraging her in what I believe is right. What I can’t do is control and manipulate her to be where I am right now. That’s not my job. Not to mention, it is impossible.

The long and short of it in our churches is there is a time to let people grow. That means there is a time to let them be wrong. That means there is a time to let them be weak. That means there is a time to let them make mistakes. I want others to do that for me.

Keep the faith and remember God’s way works.

ELC

Imperfect Christians Aren’t Bad Christians

January 7, 2010 by Edwin Crozier 3 Comments

When a child spills some milk what do you do? Do you yell and scream at him as if he is a worthless, flawed, failure? I hope not. That little child is imperfect and makes mistakes. To treat him like he has no value or is less-than when he makes a mistake is not good. Instead, show him how to clean up his mess. Talk him through how and why the mess was made so he might avoid the same mistake in the future.

What about when a child says a cuss word? Do you yell and scream at her as if she is a worthless, flawed, failure who is making you look like a bad parent? I hope not. That child is imperfect and makes mistakes. To treat her like she has no value or is less-than when she makes a mistake is not good. Instead, you talk to her about language. You help her establish boundaries for the kinds of words she uses and strive to pass on your values regarding the words we speak.

That makes sense to us regarding our kids. But what about our brethren? What about members of our congregation? What do we do when we know one of our brethren lied, lusted, cheated, stole, etc.? Do we yell and scream at them as if they are worthless, flawed, failures who are making your church look bad? Do we shame them, making them jump through hoops to feel forgiven? Do we treat them as if they are less-than? Do we look down on them as if they aren’t quite as spiritual as us? I hope not. That brother or sister is imperfect. They make mistakes. They will sin. To treat them like they are less-than, to shame them, to bitterly and harshly treat them is just not good. How dare we who are just as imperfect and just as sinful treat our brethren as if we are better than they are when we talk to them about their sins.

Perhaps this is why Paul told us to restore those caught in any trespass with gentleness (Galatians 6:1).

Certainly, if someone is living in utter rebellion, harsh rebuke may become necessary. However, to treat other growing Christians as if they are bad Christians just because they aren’t perfect (just like we aren’t perfect) is wrong. Do you know what Jesus did for that brother or sister when He learned about their sins? He died for them.

Think about that the next time you need to talk to a brother or sister about sin in their life. That may help you talk to them God’s way.

Remember, God’s Way Works!

Growing Up: Part 1 (The Infant Stage)

December 21, 2009 by Edwin Crozier Leave a Comment

I recently read a very interesting book that provided an intriguing look at growing up, maturing (wait for it…wait for it… yes, here it is, an associate link: The Life Model: Living from the heart Jesus gave you). Their maturity progress is a mix of how we must grow just to get along in life, but also how we must grow in Jesus to be a maturing disciple. Over the next five Mondays, I want to simply share their five stages of maturity with you. I hope this will spark some great discussion about growing up and growing up in the Lord.

The biological ages provided are not saying once a person reaches that biological point they move on to the next maturity level. Rather, they simply point out the earliest point at which a person can move to the next maturity level. The fact is, someone may be 36 and still in the infant stage of maturity.

The stages are:

Infant (0-3)
Child (4-12)
Adult (13-birth of first child)
Parent (birth of first child-youngest child becomes an adult)
Elder (beginning when youngest child becomes an adult)

The Infant Stage (0-3)

The baby stage. In fact, consider what being a baby is like and you see what this level of maturity is like. A baby cannot articulate her needs. A baby can simply scream when he needs or wants something. The parents must guess at his needs. Granted, good parents learn to guess well. They respond to the baby’s needs, nurturing it, feeding it, diapering it, holding it, comforting it.

This is exactly what an infant needs. She needs someone to provide this care-giving love. But more than that, she needs someone to provide these needs while seeing her as God sees her. That is, she needs to see joy on the faces of those who are caring for her. If he sees anger, hurt, fear, that is what he will learn to look for as he grows up. He’ll have a hard time maintaining a center of joy. He’ll have a hard time walking in and bearing the fruit of the Spirit, which is joy (Galatians 5:22).

The infant “needs to be the ‘sparkle in someone’s eye’ and to be with people that are ‘glad to be with them’ so that they live in joy and learn that joy is one’s normal state” (p. 20).

Progressing to the Next Level

Before progressing to the next level of maturity, the infant must accomplish 5 maturity tasks.

Live in joy, expanding the capacity for joy and learn that joy is the normal state.
Develop trust.
Learn how to receive.
Begin to organize self into a person through relationships.
Learn how to return to joy from every unpleasant emotion.

These steps are accomplished as the family and community accomplishes the following 5 tasks respectively.

Parents delight in the infant’s wonderful and unique existence.
Parents build strong, loving, bonds with the infant–bonds of unconditional love.
Give care that matches the infants needs, without the infant asking.
Discover the true characteristics of the infant’s unique identity, through attention to the child’s behavior and character
Provide enough safety and companionship during difficulties, so the infant can return to joy from any other emotion (p. 29).

Getting Stuck as a Baby

Have you ever seen someone you might call a big baby? That may be a very accurate description. The problem may really be that they never did progress beyond the infant stage of maturity.

If an infant is not provided the unconditional love, care, and nurturing, he will be wounded. He will get stuck in the infant stage. If he learns that he can’t trust others, he’ll always live in fear and distrust, wanting someone to take care of him but certain no one ever will. Do you think that might hinder his ability to rely on God?

If the parents and/or community around the child has not reached the parental stage of maturity, the child is going to be in trouble. The parents can’t give what they don’t have. If the parents are stuck in the infant stage or even the child stage, they will be seeking their own needs themselves and leaving the infant child to fend for herself. The parent, seeking his or her own needs, may “parentify” the infant, seeking their own happiness and comfort through the child. The roles become reversed and neither is fulfilled. It is the parents that are to provide the love and nurture to the child, not the other way around. Sadly, too many of us have kids because we are needy, not because we are prepared to care for a child.

Adult Infants

“‘Adult infants’ who have not received in these important areas as babies, will always be needy as adults. They will not be able to take care of themselves emotionally nor will they be able to appropriately receive important things from others. Adult infants will not ask for what they need because they believe if others really cared for them, they would figure out what they needed. Adult infants cannot handle criticism even if it is valid and constructive, because they see any negative feedback as a personal attack. They are often possessive of relationships, territory, power and possessions. Unfortunately for all involved, they also use fear bonding to ensure others will stay bonded to them [Fear bonding is getting others to stay in a relationship by using negative pressures, making them fear something negative if they act as themselves or if they leave the relationship-ELC]. And while ‘high functioning’ adult infants can appear responsible in many areas, like handling personal finances, and being punctual and reliable, emotionally they are severely crippled making it difficult for them to have successful and enduring relationships” (pp. 20-21).

The Spiritual Application

Do you think new converts might be in a similar stage as a newborn infant? They are extremely needy, but they don’t even yet know how to express their needs. They need to be in a family with mature Christians who can anticipate their needs and provide them without them even asking. They need spiritual parents who will care for them, nurturing them, teaching them they can trust the brethren and they can trust God. I can’t begin to suggest for how many years this stage is normal.

However, I can suggest that perhaps more Christians need more mature brethren to demonstrate that the newborn in the faith are the sparkle of our eyes, that we are overjoyed to have them in our presence. What might smiles, hugs, and listening ears accomplish for these new Christians? New Christians need more mature Christians who build strong bonds of unconditional love (emphasize unconditional love–not love until they have a relapse into their favorite pre-baptism sin). Infants in Christ need more mature Christians who discover the babe’s unique identity and strengths. These things might go a longer way to producing spiritual maturity than simply dropping them in a New Converts class and attempting to fill their heads with all the right answers to all the right questions. Babes in Christ need relationships. They will develop their relationship with God as they develop their relationship with other Christians.

Of course, we can’t give what we don’t have. If the congregation has no one at a parent or elder level maturity, there is going to be a problem. The church will then be filled only with people seeking others to care for them or who can only take care of themselves. That is a hurting place to be.

Ephesians 4:13 says we need to develop to mature manhood. If we are stuck in the infant stage, we need to do some work. We need to find some “parents” who can help us get unstuck and move past our wounds and hurts. Be honest with yourself. If you see yourself in that “adult infant” paragraph, seek some mature person out to help you grow.

I hope we can start a discussion here. How do we get beyond infanthood if we are stuck there?